Let’s face it everyone, in the midst of all this COVID-19 business, we’re juggling. Here’s a list of links to help you keep all those balls in the air.
Khan Academy – Provides daily schedules & age-appropriate guided curriculum
Virtual Field Trips – A great list of resources curated by Freedom Homeschooling
Scholastic Learn at Home – Project based resource incorporating books, videos, and interactive learning
Have Fun Teaching – Relief packs (geared towards teachers, but aren’t we all learning to be teachers this week) by grade level for Preschool through 4th grade
Free Educational Resources – Kid Activities blog has put together a pretty thorough list of resources that are free while we school-in-place
Disney Parks Virtual Rides – Romper compiled a list of links to some of our faves to enjoy while the parks are closed
Playbill – Watch some of your favorite Broadway shows from home
Just Fun
Check out Instagram and Facebook Live feeds for some great live-from-home entertainment. My faves like Harry Connick, Jr. (Hunker Down with Harry) and Jimmy Fallon are regularly posting content.
#NTxGivingDay is a great opportunity to support your favorite local nonprofit organizations. Here are a few reasons why.
You can’t drive around Dallas these days without seeing signs of North Texas Giving Day. They’re everywhere. Your mailboxes (email too) are full of notices and solicitations for gifts to your favorite nonprofits. They’re calling donors to action, to support charitable organizations over the designated 18-hour giving day this Thursday, September 19. And you really should consider giving because, to quote my all-time favorite musical: “This is not a moment, it’s a movement!”
North Texas Giving Day started in 2009 as an initiative of the Communities Foundation of Texas as a way to spread awareness about the work of the nonprofit sector in our community. CFT raised $4 million that year to support 345 local charities. Since then, it has grown to be the largest community-wide giving event in the nation with more than $48 million raised last year. What’s more the number of participating nonprofits has grown nearly ten times, with 2,690 organizations in 2018.
North Texas Giving Day grows bigger every year with the support of thousands of donors, an affirmation of the effort’s primary purpose: to make giving accessible to everyone. I’m a huge fan of NTGD and encourage you to consider giving to your favorite local nonprofit this week.
Here are five reasons why you should give on North Texas Giving Day:
Because everyone is doing it!
I’m generally not one for peer pressure, but harmless philanthropic endorsements are an exception. Last year nearly 160,000 donations were made to organizations spanning 20 counties in North Texas. NTGD has expanded significantly in scale over its decade-long history to include thousands of nonprofits, and each of them runs their own marketing campaign in anticipation of the event. Ask around — I promise you know lots of North Texas Giving Day donors!
Because it’s easy.
The easiest way to support your favorite nonprofits on North Texas Giving Day is to click through their links via social media or email to contribute. (If you’re not following your favorite organizations on social media, you should be.) You can also visit the NTGD website to browse and search for nonprofits by name, zip code, or keyword (service area, etc.). As a bonus, you can schedule your gifts in advance this year (starting NOW).
Because your dollars go further on North Texas Giving Day.
One of the most profound benefits of giving via #NTxGivingDay is the matching funds and other incentives provided by the Communities Foundation of Texas and other sponsors. Many organizations’ gifts are matched dollar-for-dollar. Other organizations are eligible for matching funds and other prizes.
Participating nonprofits are responsible for relaying information to donors about their available incentives. Even those organizations not selected for matching, etc. are eligible for prizes and other fun in-kind gifts throughout the day (click HERE for a full list). So use North Texas Giving Day as an opportunity to make an even bigger impact on the organizations you care about.
Because you can give to new (to you) organizations.
Use North Texas Giving Day as a means to support new charitable organizations. Search the website for organizations near your home or use keywords about your favorite causes to explore the work of nonprofits you may be unfamiliar with. Then make a small gift to support their efforts.
You can rest assured that any nonprofit included in NTGD has been vetted. They represent those charities doing the most good in our community. In fact, most organizations’ GuideStar profile is linked through the North Texas Giving Day profile so you can investigate for yourself.
Because it’s good to do good.
Dallas is one of the most philanthropic communities in the country. It’s no wonder why the North Texas Giving Day movement has been successful here. I love the idea that gifts en masse, no matter the individual amount, make a tremendous charitable impact.
At a minimum, consider giving your typical annual nonprofit gifts on NTGD. You may find your dollar stretched further with matching, etc. But even if you don’t, there’s something about knowing your contribution is part of a larger community effort.
Tell us about your #NTxGiving Day experiences and #whyyougive.
May I never get too busy in my own affairs that I fail to respond to the needs of others with kindness and compassion.
Sometimes things in college life require translation. Luckily, I speak professor!
Communication with professors is an important college skill. When I asked my current and former students for suggestions on topics to address from the professor’s perspective, it was a recurring theme. Several noted that they didn’t feel comfortable addressing questions with professors until later in their college career, once they got the hang of college life and figured out professors aren’t ogres (well, most of us aren’t anyway). In an effort to stave off nerves and general fears, here are my Top 5 suggestions for navigating communication with your professor.
Consider the context of your conversation.
Ambushing your professor after class to ask for an extension on your paper or to reschedule a test is not a good idea. First of all, it’s very unlikely you will get enough time to explain your situation during the passing period. Second, your professor will be very well-aware that others are paying close attention to their response to your request.
It’s certainly appropriate (and encouraged) to chat with professors after class to get clarification on lecture notes or expound on a topic of particular interest to you. Be mindful of the context of your conversation and decide the appropriate venue. Confidential conversations should take place in private. Sometimes it’s best to make an appointment with your professor to discuss sensitive issues like disability accommodations or assignment exceptions. Sometimes it’s best to stop by office hours, which brings me to my next point…
Use office hours.
I think I spend 80% of my office hours sitting alone in my office. No need for pity – I have plenty to do! The real pity is that students rarely use professors’ office hours until they are in peril, if at all. Here’s a newsflash: Professors NEVER mind you visiting office hours. You don’t need permission. It’s our job to hold office hours, and it’s your job to use them wisely.
I’ve said before it’s a good idea to pop by your professor’s office hours to introduce yourself. At the very least, use office hours to talk through points of confusion in course material or to engage in discussion about the stuff you find most compelling from assigned reading. Professors work pretty hard to develop courses, and we love talking to our students about what they’re learning!
Demonstrate proper respect.
The appropriate way to address your professor in person AND in writing is to call them “Professor So-and-So.” If you know your professor has a doctoral degree, it’s also fine to address them as “Doctor So-and-So.” You should NEVER call your professor by their first name unless given express permission to do so.
I work hard to be as approachable as I can for my students. But I can’t help but get a little offended when a student feels that they may address me by my first name, especially upon first meeting or when addressing an email. I realize there is healthy debate surrounding this issue, and many of my colleagues ask their students to address them by first name. My position is that first name should not be the default. Calling professors by their first name ipso facto diminishes their expertise and implies a more casual relationship.
Familiarize yourself with your professor’s policies on extensions and absences. Most importantly, you should be prepared to accept the penalty for any violation of their policy before you meet with your professor. Begging is never a good idea.
If you’re talking with your professor about course content or need help with a paper, it helps to bring class notes to your meeting or to understand the basic requirements of the assignment.
Please don’t misunderstand this one — it’s not always necessary to prepare for a conversation with your professor. Spontaneous and organic chats with students are always productive. Preparation is only necessary when you have an agenda and/or expectation of the conversation.
Plan ahead.
It is inevitable that someone will have some conflict with course schedules. Illnesses and deaths are certainly the exception to the planning piece. However, if you know in advance that you have to miss an important course component, e.g. exam, presentation, etc., address it with your professor as early as possible, preferably in their office. If you need guidance on a paper, go meet with your professor well in advance of due dates. Start reviewing for exams in time to allow for questions and clarification.
The bottom line…
Communicate with your professors! Introduce yourself, participate in class, and approach your courses conscientiously. You will find them receptive to your inquiries and interest in their course. So have a great semester!
Thoughts on communication tactics? Do you have more to tried and true tips to add? I’m happy to answer any questions you have so please comment and share!
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
A smart start to the semester is one of the best ways to ensure success in college. These seven tips from Professor BonMot help build a strong foundation for learning even before the first day of class.
I’m not sure if you’ve looked at the calendar lately, but we’re creeping towards that dreaded first day of class. Are you ready? Are you sure? In college it’s pretty unlikely you’re going to hold up a chalkboard sign on your front porch that says “First Day of Sophomore Year! When I grow up, I want to be a dancer and a paleontologist.” (But if you do, please post a picture and tag me in it @beingbonmot!)
Your back to school shopping for college looks very different these days than it did in primary school. I have students who obviously spend a lot of time thinking through their first day outfit. Some obviously spend none at all. Nonetheless, Back to School season looks much different once you’re up and out of the house.
I see this thing happen at the beginning of every semester, especially in the fall. Students take one of two paths. They either hit the ground running, more prepared than I am for the first day of class. Or they resign themselves to a slow start, not really worrying about reading or checking in on course material until the first exam or quiz looms. I’d argue that most all college students intend to take the first path, but you know what they say about good intentions…
So I’ve put together these seven suggestions to help you choose the best path heading into a new semester in college. Because in the words of my muse, Benjamin Franklin, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”
** This post contains affiliate links. I may earn a small commission from any purchases you make at no additional cost to you. I love school supplies, and I wouldn’t recommend any products I haven’t used.
Sylla-Business
Find your course syllabi before the first day of class. They are usually available online. Read them, calendar any important dates, and pay special attention to policies and procedures. If you have questions, ask them during the first class meeting. They don’t call it “syllabus week” for nothing!
Organization Orientation
Get organized for the semester before it starts. Open note folders on your computer and think through your approach to class notes, handouts, and other course materials. If you’re a luddite like me, label your notebooks and sharpen your pencils. Shop for supplies including highlighters, sticky notes, and pens in lots of fun colors (Paper Mate Flair are my absolute favorite).
Double-check that syllabus for blue book and scantron requirements, and buy them early. Nothing incites panic like a shortage of blue books during midterms. If you’re looking for a gold star from your professor, keep a dry erase marker and small stapler in your backpack for when theirs runs out of ink or staples. And trust me when I tell you that you always want to have an extra pen or two on hand for when your class crush asks you to borrow (just sayin’).
Serious about Scheduling
Set your schedule – I often talk about treating college like a job so preparing your schedule is very important (see “How to Succeed in College in 5 Easy Steps“). Start by putting all of your class meetings and labs on your calendar. Make sure all of your exam, quiz, and other due dates are there too (or use this cool planner I swear by). Think through your lunch, snack, and coffee breaks before the term starts. Put study and reading time on your calendar where you have obvious openings. If you schedule this time like an important meeting that appears on your calendar (or Apple Watch), you will be more likely to honor the commitment.
If you like to work out, this is an excellent opportunity to find time in your schedule to do it. Most universities have a fitness center with great group exercise classes. Try to fit one of those into your schedule, especially early in the semester. It’s also a great way to meet new people!
Reading Readiness
First, buy/rent your text books. Next, start reading. No seriously, start reading. At the very least, open your textbooks and get a feel for what you’re dealing with. If your syllabus has outside reading assignments early in the semester, go find them, download/print them (save them to that folder you’ve already opened in Word), and have them ready. But my best advice – start reading.
Find Your Way
Take a tour, especially if you’re new to campus. Stroll around and find your classrooms. If you’re feeling ambitious, locate the restrooms and maybe pick a seat. Do you have enough time to get across campus to your next class? I still do this if I’ve been assigned to a new classroom. Back-to-back classes can be tricky, especially if you like to loiter and talk to friends after class (or if your students like to hang out and talk to you…).
Sharing is Caring
Share your schedule with your loved ones. Be sure your parents have a good idea about when you’ll be in class, especially if you talk to them often. Knowing you have a 9:00 a.m. class will save your mom’s feelings when you don’t answer her call. It’s also a good idea to let everyone know when you’ll be home for holidays and other breaks.
(Sidenote to any parents reading this: It is REALLY poor form to make travel reservations or other plans for your college-aged kid without consulting their class and exam schedule first. It’s even poorer form to send said kid to ask for an exam makeup or other accommodation because of your willy-nilly reservations. I mean…)
Healthy Habits
Rest up, hydrate, and get ready to learn. You’ll have the most energy and enthusiasm for learning at the beginning of the semester so capitalize on it. Be conscious of the need for balance from the first day. Choose your late nights wisely. Also recognize and capitalize on opportunities to meet new people and experience new things. This is college for crying out loud. Enjoy it! And hydrate. Hydration, real hydration (not Thirsty Thursday hydration) is key.
One final note: Call your mom.
You’re off to great places. Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting so get on your way.
Chase away rainy day blues with a visit to one of these fun, family-friendly, and completely climate controlled venues.
Breckenridge is a mountain-town paradise. No matter the season there’s always plenty to do outdoors. Whether it’s skiing during winter and spring or hiking and biking during the summer months, visitors flock to Breck for fresh air and an active lifestyle. But there are days when it’s just too cold or too wet to be outside. Fortunately indoor activities in Breckenridge won’t disrupt your fun, and they’re worth a stop even on the brightest and warmest days. All of these recommendations are in close proximity to downtown and easy to access even in inclement weather.
** This post contains affiliate links. In some cases, I earn commissions from qualifying products at no additional cost to you.
Flex Your Creative Muscle
Our absolute favorite indoor activity in Breckenridge is painting pottery at Ready, Paint, Fire. We’ve been known to stop by several times a week during our annual summer visits, especially on rainy days. We now have a veritable menagerie of unicorns, dragons, ballerinas, wizards, and other whatnots, each representing a delightful afternoon spent at the studio on Main Street. Beth, the proprietor, and her staff are always friendly and willing to help guide your creations.
Ready, Paint, Fire isn’t just a pottery studio. If your inner Picasso is calling, you can paint masterpieces on canvases using easy-to-follow instructions. Many of them are Colorado themed and make a fun souvenir. You can also create mosaics and take evening glass fusing classes. (323 N. Main Street)
Escape a Room
We are big fans of escape rooms anywhere, and our favorite in town, Escape Room Breckenridge, has several fun themed adventures to explore. We recently rescued our school pet in the new “Wizard School” room, and it was loads of fun for the adults and kids. Noodling through clues and puzzles is a fun way to escape a rainy day in Breck. (233 S. Ridge St., Suite C)
Visit a Museum
If you have to spend time indoors on vacation, why not learn a little something? Breckenridge is home to several small and well-curated museums located in or near downtown. None of them requires an entire day to explore so pop in to the nearest collection when one of those wicked mountain storms descends.
Barney Ford House Museum
The Barney Ford Victorian House Museum is a reflection of the life of Barney Ford, an escaped slave turned entrepreneur and civil rights leader. His harrowing story is told through period archives and depicts a time in Breckenridge different than some of the mining-centered exhibits in town. Spend time reading the placards around the house to appreciate 19thcentury Rocky Mountain life. (111 East Washington Avenue)
Edwin Carter Discovery Center
Breckenridge’s natural history museum, the discovery center is home to Edwin Carter’s vast array of taxidermy specimens and other treasures. The museum features many interactive exhibits and is a great detour for the entire family. (111 North Ridge Street)
Summit Ski Museum
The Summit Ski Museum traces the history of Breckenridge’s favorite pastime, skiing. Featuring equipment and archives from the 10thMountain Division, a military unit that fought on skis during WWII through the development of the Breckenridge ski resort we know today. (308-B South Main Street)
Hit the (Indoor) Ice
The Stephen C. West Ice Arena is a great place to visit any time of the year. Perfect your hockey skills, work on your triple salchow, or just free skate with your family on Breckenridge’s coolest indoor excursion. Check the website for hours and have fun out there! (0189 Boreas Pass Road)
Downstairs at Eric’s Arcade
One of Main Street’s main attractions (especially for kids) is the arcade at Downstairs at Eric’s. The bar and restaurant are always busy, and a great pit stop no matter the weather. The food at Eric’s is surprisingly tasty – try the fried pickles and soft pretzels while the kids play. The arcade was recently expanded to include a number of fun and interactive games. Want to drive a Star Wars land speeder? Challenge your kids to a basketball shoot out? There’s something for everyone downstairs! (111 South Main Street)
Bon Mot Bonus: Eric Mamula of Downstairs at Eric’s (a.k.a. THE Eric of Eric’s) is currently the Mayor of Breckenridge. Be sure to say “hello” and catch up on local politics if you see him there.
Enjoy Your Own Company
Finally, if the rain or chilly weather keeps you indoors, why not spend some time hanging out and playing games? Take some time to explore your vacation rental and snuggle up with your travel companions. We never leave home without a deck of Uno cards, some fun art supplies, and a few packable family-friendly games. Our favorites include Sequence, Jenga, and Connect 4. (Click the links to access travel-sized versions on Amazon.) Sometimes it’s a good idea to actually rest while on vacation.
Breckenridge, Colorado is an amazing place with tons to do both indoors and out. It’s easily accessible and centrally located for summer and winter excursions, and our family always loves the time we spend there. (Check out my “Road Trip Readiness” post.) So go explore and enjoy all the town has to offer!
The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
I‘d love to hear about your fun vacation tips for rainy days. Please comment and share. And thank you for stopping by Being Bon Mot!
This summer marks our family’s fifth cross-country road trip. While the drives are long, we love having our own vehicle and an abundance of stuff when we travel. Pillows from home? Yes, please! We certainly have our mileage limits, but our kids have become quite the road warriors. The idea of driving 15 hours in a confined space with bickering siblings is enough to make anyone nervous, but with a little preparation and a lot of prayer, we manage to survive and, even enjoy, our time together.
Over the years I’ve put together a “Roadtrip Readiness” checklist to help plan for the long journey. Here are five easy tips to help you and your family prepare for the road ahead.
** This post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn commissions from qualifying products at no additional cost to you. I never recommend products that I haven’t tried myself.
Service your car
It may go without saying, but it is a wise idea to give your car a mechanical once-over before embarking on a long drive. I learned early-on that road trips can be hard on vehicles, and we sometimes neglect routine maintenance if our normal routes are relatively short. I tend to stay within a five-mile radius of my house so my car coughs and sputters at the idea of a 1,000-mile journey.
Change your oil if you haven’t done so recently, especially if you’re driving through extreme temperatures. Ask the mechanics to check all of your fluid levels and top them off as necessary. Most neighborhood oil change outfits and even automobile repair shops will look over your car for free or a small fee. It’s worth the investment to ensure that everything is ship-shape under the hood.
Check the pressure and general health of your tires. Make sure your windshield wipers are streak-free. Be sure all of your headlights and blinkers are in working order. You get the idea.
In spite of all this service, I always pack an emergency car kit just in case. Having it in the car gives me peace of mind, and, let’s be honest, everyone needs one of those reflective triangle thingys.
Clean & Tidy
Listen, road trips are messy. Your car has never seen snack crumbs like the ones that materialize after ten straight hours of driving. That’s why I like to start with a clean slate. I go beyond just the typical interior and exterior wash and take time to empty out the nooks and crannies. I empty the in-door storage, glove compartment, etc. of anything extra before disembarking. You will need as much space as possible to store your necessities in reach while on the road.
Real Life Road Tripping – It’s messy business.
My kids have a tendency to stuff toys and even random trash into their cupholders, seatbacks, you name it. I get help from them on this step, and we always find a ‘lost-forever’ Shopkin or favorite pencil somewhere.
Check Your Data Plan
Here’s the truth: we survive road trips mostly because the kids can spend time playing games and watching shows/movies/YouTube on their devices. Until I stumbled into the awesomeness of unlimited Wi-Fi in my super cool new minivan, we burned through my cellular hotspot bandwidth rather quickly. I always dreaded getting that “you’ve reached your data limit” notice hours from our final destination.
All data plans are not created equal. If you intend to have your kids use devices while on the road, I suggest contacting your service provider to understand your available data (personal hotspot available limits are often different than general monthly allowances). For limited plans, I recommend asking for help understanding how bytes and bits translate into minutes/hours of Wi-Fi use. Then multiply that times the number of people tapping into the data. Don’t forget the co-pilot.
Map Routes & Make Reservations
I never advocate for winging it on road trip routes or overnight plans. Check the possible paths to your destination and think through how many hours you want to spend driving each day. Our family can tolerate about eight to nine hours (500-600 miles) before we need a break from driving. Your time may vary depending on your kids’ ages and your general determination to get the whole thing over with as soon as possible.
Do you want to stop and eat lunch or drive thru and press on? How often will you need to stop for fuel? These are things to think through before hitting the road. And remember that younger kids (and husbands with micro-bladders) need potty breaks often.
If you plan to stop overnight along the way, I strongly recommend making a hotel reservation in advance. Doing so avoids the mayhem of searching for a suitable room once you finally decide to call it a day. Plus, it gives everyone something to look forward to (especially if you book a place with a pool!).
Bonus Tip: While digital map apps and GPS work fine in most cases, I recommend having a paper map of your overall route to consult in cases of poor reception. This good ol’ fashioned road atlas works well for us. It’s also fun to have your kids follow the route in their own atlas and learn about the states you’re passing through.
I recall a time during college when my friend and I drove from Memphis to Nashville (almost three full hours) looking for a hotel along I-40. We were road tripping back from New York to Dallas over Spring Break, and it was a less-than-awesome end to a great trip. We still talk about how tired and grumpy we were that night. And how we ended up in the grossest motel ever. Needless to say, I learned my lesson.
Spontaneous Stop Near Royal Gorge, Colorado
Fun Exploring the Rock Yard
Please don’t misunderstand. I love spontaneous stops at fun places along the way. Never pass up a visit the world’s largest ball of twine. (In case you’re wondering, it’s in Cawker City, Kansas.) Pull over at that cute little fruit stand touting Texas’s finest peaches. Always make a little extra time for bathroom and snack breaks. Because, with road trips, the journey matters, but with kids in tow, so does the destination.
Pack Up & Hit the Road
Once your car is clean, serviced, and ready for the trip, find a good place for your luggage and equipment and hit the road! Be sure to put everything your pilot will need within safe reach. I always make sure I have plenty of water and copious amounts of coffee along with my lip balm and cell phone close by.
Give your kids easy access to their own snacks and water if you want to avoid having to hand them something every 2.4 minutes. I also put their books, easy art supplies, and other activities in a bin between them. Check out the fun mini activity pouches created by my friends and mompreneurs at Twig & Olive – they’re perfect on this little tray to pass time in the car.
Bonus Tip: Pack a separate overnight bag with changes of clothes and toiletries if you plan to stop along the way. Be sure it ends up being placed in easy reach in the back of the car, along with anything else you’ll want to take in for the night.
My kids love to road trip in their flip flops so they can kick them off as soon as we’re in the car. Because we usually need either socks and/or tennis shoes at some point along the way, I slide them under the seat for easy access.
We take a small cooler with snacks that can serve as meal substitutes like hummus and pretzels, salami and cheese, etc. Plus it’s great to have a cooler and ice packs handy for picnics on vacation. Packing a jug of water from home also saves us time and money. We refill our reusable bottles along the way instead of buying bottled water at every stop. Ours lasts for days and helps my sensitive-tummy family transition into using local water while away from home.
Bottom Line: Road trips are what you make of them. We try to focus on the fun of the journey as much as the excitement of reaching our final destination. Happy trails to you!
To travel is to live.
Hans Christian Andersen
I’d love to hear your road trip stories. Please comment and share below.
I recently bought a car and lived to tell about it. This is the story and some tips for survival.
Ladies in the Driver’s Seat: Capitalizing on Our Buying Power and Rejecting Ridiculous Consumer Stereotypes
I recently bought a car. Well, I bought a minivan, but that’s a story for another time. And when I say I bought it, I mean I bought it. I went to the dealership, negotiated the deal, signed the papers, and, eventually, left with a shiny new vehicle. I’ve mentioned this independent purchase to a few friends, and they seem genuinely shocked that I handled it all myself. It wasn’t that they feel incapable of a car purchase; it was the idea of navigating the transaction without a wingman.
I get it. Car shopping is not my favorite thing. It’s intimidating and overwhelming, and I usually leave feeling like I need a shower. Compound the fact that I’m a woman and have only limited knowledge of automobiles (not because of my gender but because I just don’t have a keen interest in the subject), and things get downright scary. I don’t take my dad or my brother or my bestie or even my husband to buy a car. Why would I? It’s not theirs to drive. But, given the reaction I received I wanted to explore the idea of women buying cars a little more. The intersection of psychology and economics fascinates me. Throw in the question of gender disparity, and you’ve got yourself a topic worth blogging about!
Blue Minivan Should Not Mean Car-Buying Blues
Women buy about 54% of cars in the United States, and they influence the overall purchase of 84% of vehicles. But we dread the car buying experience. Dealerships want us to believe that their sales staff treat men and women the same. And I’m sure some of them do. Others make their best effort. But some, based on my unscientific observation and very real experience, patronize and undermine women at some point during the transaction.
Case-in-point: When I was negotiating the price of the super-cool minivan I decided to buy, the sales guy bounced in so excited to tell me that he’d found me $500. What he failed to either notice or bring to my attention, was that the price of a bogus dealer package (who needs wheel locks on their mom van?) had actually increased by $200, actually netting a $300 difference from the previous offer. It wasn’t the amount that irritated me, it was the audacity of the Wizard of Oz-esque manager to assume I wouldn’t notice the difference. One thing I can assure you is that my ovaries don’t keep me from doing basic math.
Research supports these observations. Multiple studies dating back several decades confirm gender and race discrimination in pricing and negotiation during the purchase of an automobile. As a matter of fact, one study found significant differences in price even when all participants (men and women) followed identical scripts. While I’m grateful for the validation that my experiences aren’t unique, it’s discouraging that even knowledge and confidence don’t compensate for generalized perceptions.
I’m infuriated by the notion that we have to choose our car-buying wardrobe carefully, and that in 2019, women still experience these ridiculous biases. So how do we overcome this nonsense?
Do your research.
The internet has ample sources for trade-in valuations and true car pricing. I suggest knowing enough about your perspective vehicle to talk about differences in features, models, and reliability. Even incentives, rebates, and competitors’ pricing can come in handy. It’s also perfectly acceptable to simply show up, test drive a vehicle, and then leave. Salespeople won’t make you feel that way, but a quick spin to rule out one car over another is a perfectly fine (and encouraged) practice. When you get down to the numbers, don’t negotiate car payments – negotiate the price of the car. Ultimately that’s what matters.
Take someone to ride shotgun.
Honestly, things would have been much smoother and more fun if I had taken someone with me to buy my minivan. If nothing else, they would have provided some levity for my jump into the deep end of mom life. You don’t need to take your husband or dad or someone who appears to know more about cars than you. Pick someone you want to share the experience with, not necessarily someone you see as an expert.
A 1967 study examining the relationship between confidence and the car buying experience found that consumers were less vulnerable to persuasion when they had specific feelings of adequacy in making the decision. In other words, confidence only matters in car buying when it’s specific to your feelings about car buying, not general aplomb. Moreover, this and subsequent inquiries confirmed that buyer self-confidence increases significantly when they are accompanied by a “purchase pal.”
get out there, ladies — Study up and buddy up, and go buy that shiny new ride!
Geeky Stuff & Sources
Ayres, Ian, and Peter Siegelman. “Race and Gender Discrimination in Bargaining for a New Car.” The American Economic Review 85, no. 3 (1995): 304-21.
Bell, Gerald D. “Self Confidence and Persuasion in Car Buying.” Journal of Marketing Research. 4 (1967): 46-52.
Our lights went out a week ago and didn’t come back on for three days. Darkness forced our family to embrace luddite ways, and we did our best to stay positive despite the discomfort. We were lucky that our house didn’t sustain damage, and we suffered only minor inconveniences. Life without refrigeration, of both people and perishables, certainly wasn’t ideal, but, with a few well-stocked supplies and mom hacks, we were ready to embrace our pioneer days.
Living in Texas means crazy summer thunderstorms and frequent high winds and tornado warnings. No wonder it’s fourth on the list of states with the most power outages. Living in Dallas means dicey electrical infrastructure and big trees that often blow over. So while we weren’t completely unprepared for the likelihood of a bonkerballs summer storm, the intensity and aftermath shocked us a bit. Regardless of climate, weather changes can happen fast. As Mark Twain aptly quipped, “I have counted 136 different types of weather inside of 24 hours.”
Now that we have air conditioning and a restocked fridge, I thought it would be useful to shed light on a handful of ideas to get through the dark days and darker nights. While sitting ALONE in a warm(ish) dark house wouldn’t have been so bad, managing two kids and a busy husband certainly added a layer of chaos.
Prepare for the Worst, Hope for the Best
It is really easy to talk about the importance of preparation after your lights are out and the cool air stops blowing. It’s harder to be proactive about disaster readiness. While this post isn’t intended to give serious life-saving advice for surviving life without power, it is important to consider safety and relative comfort in the eye of the storm.
My best advice on preparation: Don’t ignore the to-do list. The minute we let our gas tank get too low and forget to buy batteries (for the third time) a freak storm descends to smite us for our procrastination. As soon as we start getting thunderstorm warnings in Dallas, I double-check my emergency cabinet and storm supplies (batteries, candles, bottled water – really just the basics). Your storm survival stockpile will obviously vary depending on your location, family size, and tolerance for deprivation.
Halfway through the first night, our daughter’s smoke alarm started beeping. It was completely unrelated to the power outage, but I was extra thankful for the surplus of nine-volt batteries I had on hand (we had to stop laughing long enough to climb the ladder in the dark). My husband’s camping coffee percolator over the gas stove saved me from a serious case of The Grumpies on day two. I even tapped into my theme park supplies to retrieve my battery operated hand-held fans and glow sticks.
Camping Coffee Pot: Caffeine in a Powerless Pinch
It’s a good idea to build some routine into the things we often forget. Try to buy items like batteries, bottled water, and even flashlights in bulk to have a few extra set aside for a rainy (windy, stormy…. you get the idea) day. When in doubt, calendar a reminder to check emergency supplies twice a year. I set mine for April and October. And please, for the sake of all of us in the wake of your karma, don’t ignore the reminder!
Go Old School
How long has it been since you played a rousing game of chess or tested your steady hand at Operation? Dig out some of the games your kids haven’t played in a while (or ever), light that lantern, and throwback to the unplugged 80s. Rock some Hangman, Tic-Tac-Toe, Slap Jack, anything to distract from the absence of wifi.
Get creative
You know the best thing about flashlights – Shadow Puppets! Dark nights create a perfect backdrop to work on that hand-shadow-horse you’ve been trying to perfect. Take it one step further and have your kids trace the puppets to make fun and interesting shadow art. Build a blanket fort, bust out the craft box, or head outside (if it’s safe) for some freeze tag. You got this, mama!
Everything melting in the freezer? Time for a Popsicle Party!
Be Productive
Are your kids’ drawers due for a thinning and reorganization? Is your Tupperware cabinet in disarray? Always wanted to color-code your craft supplies? Why not shed light on the darkness by checking off a few of those items deep on your to-do list? Get the kids to help out. Tidying, cleaning, and organizing can be done by candlelight. And, if you’re like me, making progress on forgotten tasks around the house almost makes up for the power outage. Almost.
Stay Positive
Parenting has taught me that poor attitudes are contagious. Yes; it stinks to live in the dark. Yes; it’s hard to sleep when you’re uncomfortable. No; I can’t turn on my Hotspot (for the 100thtime!). I always remind my kids that we often can’t control the things that happen to us, but we can control the way we respond to them. Storms and power outages certainly test this family adage. Staying positive during trying times helps maintain perspective, especially in light of the uncertainty of Mother Nature. Wine also helps.
Storm season continues, and we’re crossing our fingers that the lights stay on. But if they don’t, I have some drawers that need organizing and a cabinet full of vintage board games calling our name.
I’d love to hear from you because we’re all in this together! What tips do you have for surviving a power outage?
Oh and just for fun, here are the Top 5 Power Outage States:
Michigan
Ohio
New York
Texas
California
Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.
Well, folks, we’re well into 2019 so time for all of us to abandon our New Year’s Resolutions. We’re fed up with flavorless diets and crowded gyms and ready to resume our normal mid-year routines. Or maybe we’re adjusting our lives to fit the goals we’ve set and cruising along just fine. Maybe you’re down a jean size and feeling amazing, not missing sugar and cheese and the convenience of drive thrus and greasy burgers. For me, in the midst of all of the new year self-improvement, I do my best to set reasonable daily goals for myself and choose my calories as wisely as possible. I try to be honest about what works for me and my family. Because truth be told, things would look much different if I didn’t have to prepare meals for two conveniently picky kids or live by a brutal schedule that defies my nocturnal archetype. I’ve learned in my time as a parent that my goals and resolutions often have to yield to those more pressing activity schedules and homework demands. Finding the balance between paralyzing mommy guilt and necessary ‘me time’ has become a bit of an obsession for me and my Pinterest-perfect parental generation. I don’t have a magical potion that allows me to split my chromosomes, but I do have a few #momhacks to help me stay (or at the very least feel) productive.
This series is dedicated to maximizing efficiency for busy mommies by minimizing some of the minutia of mundane tasks. Whether you are a working mom or a sort-of working mom or a full-time momming mom, we can all agree that sometimes the duties of maintaining a household and keeping our kids happy and healthy can be exhausting. Homework, afterschool activities, and managing chores can easily become motherhood’s maddening monotony. And when you’re trying to carve out time for yourself to exercise or meditate or just visit the loo in peace, the idea of shaving five or fifteen minutes out of your day can be glorious, nay invigorating.
Listen, I’m really no expert here. I’m just doing my best to get the most out of those fleeting waking hours. I mean, I guess from a theoretical/normative sense, I know quite a bit about efficiency (that’s what a Ph.D. will get you I suppose…), but it’s relatively useless in my #momlife. I don’t sleep nearly enough (more on that later), I’ve been known to brush my teeth in the shower (I stopped out of fear of electrocution when I started using a Sonicare…), I eat breakfast on my way to work, and I allocate my evening free time into two-minute-two-second commercial break increments even though most of my television is pre-recorded.
So let’s start with a few hacks I’ve found to make the most of the millions of errands all moms are required to run. The hope here is that your task list starts to feel more like a scenic jog than an all-out frantic sprint.
Mommiefficient Errands
Minimize & Streamline
I realize for most moms a trip to Target is considered a staycation. There are few things as satisfying as browsing the Dollar Spot in the quiet company of a warm latte. We rarely get a full Saturday to browse at the mall anymore so we learn to master the “buy everything online we love; try it on; decide we hate it; and then have to go to the store to return it anyway” shopping habit. Generally speaking though, errands are a royal time-consuming pain. I went through a phase not too long ago when I would shop at three different grocery stores because everything we needed wasn’t available at just one place (The Central Market pickle and olive bar is in a class by itself, amIright?). Now I challenge myself to go long stretches without stepping foot in a grocery store – my current record streak is 17 days.
So how do I do it? That’s right – I take FULL advantage of grocery pick up, Amazon Prime Now, and the occasional retail grocery delivery. Walmart Pickup is my current go-to mainly because you can get craft supplies, birthday gifts, and your weekly food haul in one fell swoop (more on this later..). It’s especially efficient and downright amazing for families who have to lug diapers, cat litter, or other ridiculously bulky items from shelf to shopping cart to car. The time it takes to set up an account and place your grocery order (even the first time when you have to find all of your favorite items) is minimal compared to the added annoyance of actually grocery shopping, and your kids can scream in the comfort of their own home while you’re shopping instead of distracting you by trying to sneak snacks into the cart. Plus, online grocery shopping has helped me with list management, menu planning and, ultimately, with our food budget.
Bring Errands to You
In our Amazon-obsessed world (guilty!), we certainly appreciate the convenience of two-day shipping and round-the-clock deliveries. One of the best things about urban living these days is that we can have most everything delivered most anytime. I suggest taking the at-home service one step further and bring errands to you. More often than not, we can check off those mundane tasks without even leaving the house. For example, our dry cleaning gets picked up and delivered, and it’s the same cost as most drop off launderers. I use Avon Cleaners. No more fear of wrinkle-prone work shirts being piled into the back of my car + one less to-do on my weekly list = win/win!
I recently brought one of my least favorite, and frankly, often ignored errands to my driveway – the dreaded carwash. I used to get around to having my car washed about four times a year. I’m talking about the exterior AND interior snack and sticky eradicating carwash we all know we need but can never make time for. It didn’t float to the top of my list unless we could make a full meal out of the crumbs in the carpet so every time I sat in the sun baking and waiting for the swirling towel of clean, I would calendar my next carwash. Then I would promptly ignore the carwash reminder because, well, who has time for a carwash on the regular?
Now my secret to the monthly, scheduled, only slightly-filthy-car carwash is a monthly onsite service. I’m not going so far as to say it was life changing, but it sure does feel nice to do my chores whist my car is getting cleaned just outside. If you’re in Dallas and interested in trying out this not-quite-euphoria-inducing-but-pretty-darn-close service, check out The Waterboys. I’ve used their monthly service for more than a year, and I highly recommend them. The Waterboys will come to your home or office, and their gift certificates are a unique treat for your favorite boss or teacher. (BONUS: The Waterboys will give Bon Mot readers a 25% discount on any mobile cleaning service. Just visit their website and enter BonMot at checkout.)
Find an Order
For those errands we have no choice but to run, it’s often helpful to plan ahead to maximize efficiency. I know it sounds easy enough, but if you’re like me, when you realize you have an unexpected 30-minute window before carpool, you decide to spend it shopping for holiday décor at Target instead of popping by the post office or returning those boots that have been bouncing around in your trunk for a month. I once read that you should run your errands in a clockwise direction from your house. In other words, focus on right turns. My errand order sometimes depends on the goals I’ve set for myself for the day. If I’m searching for an outfit for an event, I often start at the place where I’m most likely to find what I’m looking for (Nordstrom, always Nordstrom). More often than not my order is determined by urgency and importance, regardless of right turns. In other words, I triage my errands. If my gas light is on, and I have a package to mail (that doesn’t fit into a prepaid Priority USPS box because I send those from my front porch), and I have a library book to return, the gas light wins every time. Because my impeccable history of fine avoidance and thoughtful care package won’t matter if my car runs out of gas.
I sincerely hope one or a few of these tips helps to fuel your errand-running practice. Look for more posts in this series over the coming weeks. If you have ideas about Mommieffiency or some tried and true shortcuts, please share them below.
“Any kid will run an errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.” — Red Skelton
Today is the last day of Hunger and Homelessness Awareness Week. While not necessarily a cause for celebration, it is intended to draw attention to the pervasive issues of hunger and homelessness in our communities. And its timing is no coincidence. This is typically that time of year when we begin to fret over holiday preparations — frantically searching for new and interesting recipes on Pinterest, tidying up our guest rooms for family visits, perfecting our napkin folding technique, etcetera ad nauseam. As we celebrate gratitude and do our best to gain perspective on our relative blessings, we often look for opportunities to help those who are less fortunate.
We happen to live in a community where needs abound. Despite appearances to the contrary (ahem, Bravo!), Dallas is one of the poorest cities in the country and, not surprisingly, maintains Texas’s lowest median household income ($47,243 as compared to $57,617 national household median). While conditions are improving slightly, more than 30 percent of children in Dallas live in poverty (second highest rate in the country), and one out of every four kids in our community aren’t sure where their next meal will come from. Food insecurity impacts more than 800,000 people in the North Texas area alone, and, as a result, our hunger relief organizations are busier than ever.
I spend a great deal of personal and professional time interacting with nonprofits that address issues of poverty and hunger, especially during this time of year. I am constantly in awe of the work that organizations like CitySquare, Austin Street Center, and the North Texas Food Bank (NTFB) do each and every day. Their impact is measured in meals served and sheltered souls; luxuries that I am too often guilty of taking for granted. So if you, like me, are moved to feed the hungry in an effort of thanks and giving, I’d urge you to put your money where your mouth is. Literally.
While in-kind donations of food are always welcomed and appreciated at your local food pantry, it’s far more effective and efficient to give a monetary donation. Food drives give us a tangible sense of our contributions, particularly for kids, and certainly serve a valuable purpose. But online giving convenience aside, hunger relief organizations, especially large clearinghouses like NTFB, can make our money go farther than it ever would at the local grocery store. When they say $1 provides access to three nutritious meals, they mean it. Nonprofits benefit from the value of large-scale purchasing and negotiate with wholesale companies for non-perishable food items as well as fresh meat, fruits, and vegetables for their clients (Fresh foods, by the way, are most scarce in poor households.). When was the last time you ate for $1?
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Once you decide which organization(s) you wish to support, here are some ways to help fight hunger in your community:
A Good Way to Help = Clear your pantry of non-perishable food items or pick up a few extra on your next trip to the grocery store. Be sure to double-check ‘sell by’ dates because food banks won’t redistribute expired items, and you’ll create extra unnecessary work for the organization’s employees and volunteers.
A Better Way to Help = Check out your organization’s wish list (most food pantries and other service agencies provide a current list on their website) then shop specifically for those items to donate. This is a better way to support food assistance nonprofits because directed in-kind donations, instead of random canned goods from your pantry (hello, coconut milk and pumpkin puree), help organizations meet the specific nutritional needs of their clients.
THE BEST Way to Help = Skip the store and give a monetary donation. (And finally try out that coconut pumpkin bread recipe.)
“Hunger is not a problem. It is an obscenity. How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”
