A Room with a View

The transition to online learning has changed the way I see my students in so many ways. An ode to embracing the chaos…

We made it through our first few weeks at COVID-U! The fast and furious transition to distance learning is starting to manifest itself in new and interesting ways.  Professors are settling into the new cadence of muted screens and electronically raised hands while students are getting more and more comfortable in the pants-optional environment.  Struggling to find normalcy in the digital classroom, we cling to the familiarity of the material as we work to preserve the dynamics of the classroom.  But it all feels different. 

I’ve always been baffled by the idea of FaceTime.  I grew up in a world where telephones tethered us to home, where we spun ourselves into spiraly phone cords over hours-long conversations.  Where three-way and call waiting were the height of sophistication.  “No – you hang up!”  I didn’t get a cell phone until the year I graduated from college.  I know, I’m old.

Now I buzz around in a world where students FaceTime with their parents while walking to class.  No one is as worried about being camera ready as I feel like they should be.  Several times a day, as the door to my classrooms open, I hear them say, “Mom!  Mom!  I gotta go.  I just walked into class.”  The concept of simple audio conversations seems lost.  They opt to see everyone they speak with, including their parents.  And I’ve never understood it.  As much as I love my children, I have no desire to look up their noses as they commute to class.

Alas, in this new and evolving socially-distanced world, my professional life has morphed into a constant video stream.  We Zoom lectures.  We Zoom meetings.  We even Zoom happy hour.  I’m here for it.  I’ve been delighted to see everyone’s sweet faces, even if it is online.  I don’t mind the brow shots with spinning ceiling fan overhead.  I’ve embraced the perfectly curated backgrounds (the Tiger King ones are my absolute fave!).  Heck, I don’t even mind the occasional up-the-nose view.   

I now get to see my students through a lens I never have before.

We no longer meet in sterile classrooms and cluttered offices.  We meet at home.  Students don’t sit behind desks.  They lay in their beds or out by their pool or sit at their kitchen table.  At home.  

I don’t stand at the front of class in my sensible shoes lecturing, dry erase marker in hand, doing my best to keep students engaged.   I sit in the quietest corner of the house, trying to juggle the imminent needs of my children with my commitment to teaching.  I’m connecting with the faces and voices that are so familiar, broadcast from a wholly unfamiliar environment. 

This is a room with a different view – a view from home.

I’ve met more moms in the past two weeks than I have in my entire professorial career.  They pop into the screen, and we take a minute to chat and catch up.  Because why not?  This whole thing is weird.  Their grown kid is finishing college at home, back in their spaces months before expected (if at all). And as a mom myself, I know they’re low-key checking out the whole Zoom university thing because, let’s be honest, it’s fascinating.    

I’ve also started ending classes with open discussion and ‘Pet Show & Tell.’  My kids love showing off our cat, Noodle, and I am delighted to see the dogs and cats and horses that are keeping my students company at home.  Ask me how many students’ pets I’ve met in my life.  One.  Only one puppy who was brought to a summer class in a lapse of judgement and caused such a commotion that I had to ask that it not happen again.  

In this new digital learning environment, I welcome puppies and moms and little sisters and whomever else is in the room.  You can eat, drink, exercise, watch television, text your friends, shop for shoes – anything goes now at COVID-U.  And showers are always optional.  I’m embracing the loss of control of my classes and choosing to embrace the chaos.  Because it’s all chaos right now.

The pedagogical paradigm has shifted in light of this world-wide pandemic. Learning objectives now center on the preservation of both physical and mental health. Course curriculum has taken a backseat to empathy and compassion. The classroom looks different, but it’s the meeting of the minds that matters most. And I am excited to meet my students where they are.    

I would love to hear about your adventures in online learning. Please share them because we’re all in this together.

Shoutout to my Nonprofit Management students for agreeing to be photographed for the feature image! 📷 You are the best models a professor could ask for.

In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.

Carl Jung
Dallas Mom Blog

This Box

A metaphor for life in the age of homeschooling and quarantine.

This box represents so much to me.

We picked up our kids’ school materials last weekend to prepare for an indefinite period of homeschooling.  Like the rest of the known universe, our schools are closed. I am henceforth in charge of simultaneously managing the formal education of a 6th grader and a 2nd grader. I teach adults for a living; I’m well aware that I have neither the skills nor the patience to engage in primary school instruction. This box represents unfamiliar territory.

The amazing teachers, administrators, and counselors at the school cleaned out lockers and desks (think about all of the fun and yucky stuff they found). Then they packaged all the supplies we would need to ease the transition.  They put everything into carefully labeled boxes for the kids, ready to be opened and absorbed in a new environment. This box represents a dedication to learning.

I felt the love and attention each box was given as they were carefully loaded by volunteers into the car.  But something wasn’t right; it felt cold.  The sterility and caution of the current environment was apparent.  Everyone wore gloves and stood awkwardly far apart from each other.  The typical warmth of our school community was missing. This box represents social distancing.

It broke my heart to tell my daughter she couldn’t get out of the car to hug her favorite principal when we arrived at school. Teachers were fighting back tears as they waved from afar and told us how much they missed their students.  This week we’ve gotten so many emails and check-ins from everyone at school saying how hard the physical separation is. We feel it.  This box represents the love teachers have for their students.

We’ve spent the last week foraging through the books and supplies in the box.  Both kids were relieved to have familiar materials as we worked through the first week of homeschool.  The textbooks, pencil stubs, and incomplete sets of crayons provided surprising comfort.  This box represents my kids’ nervous excitement about schooling at home.

This is our daughter’s last year on the ‘lower’ campus of our school.  The thought of her not returning to her second-grade classroom, sitting with her friends, and listening to her fantastic teacher is devastating.  She may not swing at recess or eat in the cafeteria or worship in the chapel again.  This box represents an unfamiliar grief.

Our first week of distance learning, utilizing the tools carefully packed in this box, was fraught with highs and lows. We are all adjusting and finding ways to connect to the material, to normalcy, and to each other. There were no instructions in the box. There were no answers in the box. This box represents an indefinite period of uncertainty.

Also, I’m really delayed in getting this post together. It has been on my ‘To Do’ list for almost a week.  I find my ability to focus and prioritize my own needs has significantly diminished in quarantine. I’m working hardest to preserve calm and stability within the walls of our home without the freedom of exploration or luxury of socialization. And we’re adjusting. We’re practicing grace and finding fun where we are instead of seeking it somewhere else. This box represents a new (albeit temporary) normal.

Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.

Brene Brown
Dallas Mom Blog

Surviving Social Distancing: Helpful Resources

Let’s face it everyone, in the midst of all this COVID-19 business, we’re juggling. Here’s a list of links to help you keep all those balls in the air.

Virus & Travel-Related Information

New York Times Coronavirus Case Tracking

Transportation Security Administration (TSA)

U.S. State Department Outbreak & Travel Advisories

Distance Learning Resources

Khan Academy – Provides daily schedules & age-appropriate guided curriculum

Virtual Field Trips – A great list of resources curated by Freedom Homeschooling

Scholastic Learn at Home – Project based resource incorporating books, videos, and interactive learning

Have Fun Teaching – Relief packs (geared towards teachers, but aren’t we all learning to be teachers this week) by grade level for Preschool through 4th grade

Free Educational Resources – Kid Activities blog has put together a pretty thorough list of resources that are free while we school-in-place

Talking to Kids about COVID-19

Talking to Kids/Q&A – Texas A&M Department of Educational Psychology

Helping Kids Cope with Changes – National Association of School Psychologists

What Kids Need to Know Podcast – CBS Morning

Family Fun

Disney Parks Virtual Rides – Romper compiled a list of links to some of our faves to enjoy while the parks are closed

Playbill – Watch some of your favorite Broadway shows from home

Just Fun

Check out Instagram and Facebook Live feeds for some great live-from-home entertainment. My faves like Harry Connick, Jr. (Hunker Down with Harry) and Jimmy Fallon are regularly posting content.

The New York Public Library‘s e-reader app provides thousands of materials for free.

I’m updating this page regularly. Let me know if you know of other useful sites or resources you think belong here.

Banner image 📷 credit: Markus Spiske from Pexels

The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.

Albert Einstein

Making Lemonade

Spending Spring Break at home in the midst of a social distancing voluntary quarantine provides this mom/professor/realist an opportunity to make some lemonade.

Greetings from my couch without a view!  

It’s officially spring break, and I’m supposed to be on a beach somewhere.  Instead I’m quarantined with my children and husband, removed from the comfort of our schedule with no vacation in sight.  Our schools have closed.  Our movie theaters have closed.  And we haven’t a square to spare. 

We’re in uncharted territory facing a real-life public health crisis.  People seem more anxious now than ever, yet I’m trying to maintain calm at home.  Without it, we’re doomed to constant fighting and pre-pubescent attitude. 

There is officially no break in Spring Break.  

Sure, the kids are psyched at the notion that they won’t return to school for weeks.  Their souls will be crushed when I convene ‘mom school’ this time next week. Until then, we’re playing board games, building Lego, limiting screen time (the struggle is real!), and trying to make lemonade.

At work, I’m being asked to migrate my courses online DURING spring break.  Unlike most other universities in this situation, my employer has not offered us an additional buffer week to ramp up to the e-learning platform.  Luckily, I’m familiar with the tools available to us, but the adaptation isn’t as easy as it seems.  But again, we’re making lemonade.  This time it’s with a squeeze of Zoom and a dash of Canvas.  What’s more, as you can imagine, college students are nervous about everything – grades, exams, lecture formats, cancelling graduation, everything.  And rightfully so.  

None of us knows when we’ll return to campus or school or Nordstrom or Starbucks.  It’s a pandemic, for crying out loud. It’s time for jazz hand greetings, social distancing, surgical hand washing, and an out-and-out lifestyle paradigm shift. We’re in this together.  We can do this.  We WILL do this.

2020 has served us a freaking bushel of lemons so far (part of the reason I haven’t posted since November), but we’re furiously stomping them to a pulp. We’re only a few months in and already thinking about putting up our Christmas trees to finish this crazy year. And we’re making lemonade – sweet, delicious, effervescent, slightly tart lemonade.

Over these next few weeks or (God help us) months, follow me into uncharted territory whilst, ironically, rarely leaving the house. Along the way, I’ll write and post useful links to try to help cope with madness as our worlds collide. Cross your fingers that the kids stay quiet as I live stream lectures from home…

Interested in following my adventures in the not-so-great migration to the online teaching platform? Enroll in COVID-U now!

I hope you’ll check back and share information you find interesting, helpful, or funny. I look forward to hearing from you!      

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

Benjamin Franklin
Dallas Mom Blog

RHOD Recap – Episode 1

RHOD is off and running, and this looks like the beginning of a beautifully dramatic season!

My ladies from Real Housewives of Dallas are back, and they came to play!  Episode 1 of season 4 feels like a gentle slope up to a pretty freaking dramatic season.  We spend most of the hour getting reacquainted with some old friends and meeting the newest RHOD cast member, Kary. All in all, nothing big happened in Big D this week, but we can see the drama fog rolling in…

Meet Kary

Let’s start with the newest Housewife, Kary, a pretty transparent casting choice and friend of D’Andra’s.  Kary’s role as it appears at this point is to add spice and subtitles to the franchise. She spent a lot of time outlining her feelings about sex (apparently lackluster after 10 years of marriage) and sexiness (needing to tone it down on a beach trip with her teenage daughter). From where I’m standing, it looks like she’s going to give Sexual Chocolate a run for his money.  

Also Kary is still grinding axes with LeeAnne over the RoundUp comment from TWO SEASONS AGO… about the cast member she replaced!!  (By the way, Cary, we miss you.  And we miss Mark’s Molteni.  But mostly missing Cary…) I’m looking VERY forward to Kary’s (with a “K”) interactions with Kameron and LeeAnne this season, and most especially the subtitles. 

Here Comes the bride

We find LeeAnne fretting about her impending nuptials.  She’s going over details with her glitter-farting wedding planner, Steve Kemble, and over-explaining her networking role (the supposed reason she’s getting deep discounts on goodies for her wedding — because I’m sure it has absolutely nothing to do with being featured on national television.) And listen, I’m not buying all this ‘stressed out bride’ business, and I hope it doesn’t become a central theme. Wedding planning is nothing for a carny kid and former pageant queen; it’s just another day at the office!

Real Housewives of Dallas Steve Glitter Farts
Glitter Farts = Genius Editing

The real LeeAnne story is her ongoing feud with D’Andra. And this is a REAL real feud. These ladies haven’t spoken in months, despite their agreeing to see a ‘relationship coach’ at the Season 3 Reunion. (Is that really a thing for friendships?!?) I kind of hate that it’s still going on. More on this in a minute…

Brandi’s Bratty Kid

Brandi is trudging along like the rest of the moms in the universe, trying to keep it together in the midst of chaos. And it appears the chaos with her sweet ginger kids is in full swing. Bruin is walking and couldn’t be cuter. But Brooklyn looks to be driving Brandi to the Jesus-juice. Now, I’m generally opposed to talking crap about other people’s kids, but Brandi uses some pretty unkind language to describe her own daughter (justified from what we see) and practices patience at a level some moms may not see fit to exercise. We’ll see where this one goes. At the very least, I hope someone holds on to this footage to show Brooklyn when she starts complaining about her own pre-pubescent daughters.

The mom glare is in full effect!

The Housewife & The Harvard Man

Stephanie and Travis seem to have gotten their act together, and they’re now officially #couplegoals. We’re a long way from annoying to-do lists and seemingly misogynistic marital behavior. Travis is facing a self-admitted midlife crisis, reinventing himself in anticipation of his 50th birthday. I dare say his self-care regime has been influenced by his time with Harvard co-eds, and I LOLed at Stephanie’s testimonial about his new rituals. I absolutely love this story line and really, really hope we get to see Travis talk D’Andra through her cash flow crisis and Mama D issues.

Real Housewives of Dallas Travis
No outward signs of midlife crisis.

The Friendtervention

The central theme of episode is the “Friendtervention” staged by Stephanie for LeeAnne and D’Andra over their years-long feud. Kameron and Kary are off on spring break, but Brandi and Stephanie are determined for their friends to mend fences. D’Andra is already fraught with stress over her failing business and mama drama, but she says she wants to try to work things out (sans relationship coach it seems). LeeAnne comes looking for an apology over accusations of Rich’s infidelity. I’m sorry, y’all, but things don’t look good for these two.

I don’t see these former friends clearing the air and laughing all of this off (Brandi’s goal, not mine) any time soon. I’m sure LeeAnne’s amygdala was on overdrive, but she does well keeping it together (eyes darting around for a bowl to bang). D’Andra’s posture was en fuego, and she’s obviously choosing her words very carefully trying not to make things worse. We end the episode with a toast to the future, but what does that mean?!? (Spoiler Alert!) We already know D’Andra didn’t attend LeeAnne’s wedding so where, oh where, do we go from here?

Real Housewives of Dallas D'Andra Posture
#posturegoals
What do YOU think of the new season?
Are you #TeamLeeAnne or #TeamDAndra??

Stay tuned for more drama this season! Subscribe to the BonMot blog for instant RHOD updates straight to your email – or – Follow me on social media @beingbonmot.

Real Housewives of Dallas Stephanie and Travis

The Night Before School Starts

A poem celebrating the new year and the joy some parents relish in sending their kids back to school.

Twas the night before school starts,
When all through the house,
Not a kid was whining or begging for a snack.
It's time to resume schedules: bedtime was back. 

The backpacks were hung on their hooks by the door.
We all know this is the only night they’re not spread on the floor.
Children were sleeping while the sun is still out.
With visions of recess swirling about.

Mama with her wine glass and Dad with his bourbon,
Just settling down to binge watch “Jane the Virgin”.
When feelings of guilt start to creep in,
Should we be this giddy that school starts tomorrow?
Pretending the end of summer is, oh, such a burden!
 
With siblings fighting, screen time overload, and battles for showers,
Who wouldn’t want another couple of hundred hours?
With grocery store visits accompanied by beggars,
Trying hard not to be the mom who is craggier.

Finding contraband bags of Cheetos in the cart;
And every conversation punctuated with a fart.
Living this dream we call summer...
I won’t even think the early alarm is a bummer.
 
It hits you like a ton of red schoolhouse bricks:
Freedom starts tomorrow – you do some high kicks.
You feel a cool breeze, there’s a pep in your step -- 
The unmistakable sensation of days soaked in ease.
 
The chores of the school year, despite being near
Are nothing compared to a kazoo in your ear:

Now! Snack Duty, Carpool, Lunchboxes, and Meetings;
On! Uniforms, On! Practice, On! Lost Shoes, and Required Reading.
From the middle of August through the last day of May!
All the parents complaining, “Why are things always this way?”
 
Hardly remembering the trudge of the year’s hottest months.
Forgetting the bickering and pool towels on the floor.
Kids not remembering the reminders before:
To pick up after yourself is a fairly simple chore.

Now the ungrateful boredom will come to an end.
On busses and sidewalks, our kids we will send
To shiny new classrooms filled with delight.
Hoping they’ll be worn out enough to sleep well at night.
 
Camp schedules replaced by a million activities.
Someone else, my apologies, dealing with proclivities. 
For the asking of questions and the sometimes sassy
Hoping the kids get a (metaphorical) kick in the assy.
 
Some kids skipping down the hallway.
Some moping all day.
Regardless school's starting --
Tomorrow’s the day!
 
Whether high school or sixth grade or tiny kindergarten,
We will meet our new teacher; there'll be newness and fear.
Despite this, happy parents (like me) beg your pardon
Because empty backseats and peaceful shopping are near.
 
So decorate your chalkboards and charge up your cameras.
These moments are fleeting, there aren’t many beginnings.
About thirteen or fourteen if we play our cards right.
Because you know come college, they’ve all taken flight. 
 
I’m choosing joy and elation instead of deep sorrow.
But I understand the sadness of school starting tomorrow.

Summer is over; we all made it through.
Now get to bed early because, in the morning, there's lots to do.

All this chaos, will I miss it? (Maybe) No way!
Am I tired of the school year? Ask me in May.
Obviously inspired by the classic “The Night Before Christmas” with apologies to real poets. Also inspired by my daughter who starts second grade tomorrow, but insisted on reading “The Night Before First Grade” before bed.

**This post contains affiliate links to products I love. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn commissions at no additional cost to you.

I’d love to hear your Back to School stories! Please share them below and follow the blog @beingbonmot.

 

Top 5 Breckenridge Indoor Activities

Chase away rainy day blues with a visit to one of these fun, family-friendly, and completely climate controlled venues.

Breckenridge is a mountain-town paradise.  No matter the season there’s always plenty to do outdoors.  Whether it’s skiing during winter and spring or hiking and biking during the summer months, visitors flock to Breck for fresh air and an active lifestyle. But there are days when it’s just too cold or too wet to be outside. Fortunately indoor activities in Breckenridge won’t disrupt your fun, and they’re worth a stop even on the brightest and warmest days. All of these recommendations are in close proximity to downtown and easy to access even in inclement weather.

** This post contains affiliate links.  In some cases, I earn commissions from qualifying products at no additional cost to you.

Flex Your Creative Muscle

Our absolute favorite indoor activity in Breckenridge is painting pottery at Ready, Paint, Fire.  We’ve been known to stop by several times a week during our annual summer visits, especially on rainy days.  We now have a veritable menagerie of unicorns, dragons, ballerinas, wizards, and other whatnots, each representing a delightful afternoon spent at the studio on Main Street.  Beth, the proprietor, and her staff are always friendly and willing to help guide your creations.  

Ready, Paint, Fire isn’t just a pottery studio.  If your inner Picasso is calling, you can paint masterpieces on canvases using easy-to-follow instructions.  Many of them are Colorado themed and make a fun souvenir.  You can also create mosaics and take evening glass fusing classes. (323 N. Main Street)

Escape a Room

We are big fans of escape rooms anywhere, and our favorite in town, Escape Room Breckenridge, has several fun themed adventures to explore.  We recently rescued our school pet in the new “Wizard School” room, and it was loads of fun for the adults and kids.  Noodling through clues and puzzles is a fun way to escape a rainy day in Breck. (233 S. Ridge St., Suite C)

Visit a Museum

If you have to spend time indoors on vacation, why not learn a little something?  Breckenridge is home to several small and well-curated museums located in or near downtown. None of them requires an entire day to explore so pop in to the nearest collection when one of those wicked mountain storms descends. 

Barney Ford House Museum

The Barney Ford Victorian House Museum is a reflection of the life of Barney Ford, an escaped slave turned entrepreneur and civil rights leader.  His harrowing story is told through period archives and depicts a time in Breckenridge different than some of the mining-centered exhibits in town. Spend time reading the placards around the house to appreciate 19thcentury Rocky Mountain life.  (111 East Washington Avenue)

Edwin Carter Discovery Center

Breckenridge’s natural history museum, the discovery center is home to Edwin Carter’s vast array of taxidermy specimens and other treasures.  The museum features many interactive exhibits and is a great detour for the entire family. (111 North Ridge Street)

Summit Ski Museum

The Summit Ski Museum traces the history of Breckenridge’s favorite pastime, skiing.  Featuring equipment and archives from the 10thMountain Division, a military unit that fought on skis during WWII through the development of the Breckenridge ski resort we know today.  (308-B South Main Street)   

Hit the (Indoor) Ice

The Stephen C. West Ice Arena is a great place to visit any time of the year.  Perfect your hockey skills, work on your triple salchow, or just free skate with your family on Breckenridge’s coolest indoor excursion.  Check the website for hours and have fun out there! (0189 Boreas Pass Road)

Downstairs at Eric’s Arcade

One of Main Street’s main attractions (especially for kids) is the arcade at Downstairs at Eric’s. The bar and restaurant are always busy, and a great pit stop no matter the weather.  The food at Eric’s is surprisingly tasty – try the fried pickles and soft pretzels while the kids play.  The arcade was recently expanded to include a number of fun and interactive games. Want to drive a Star Wars land speeder? Challenge your kids to a basketball shoot out? There’s something for everyone downstairs!  (111 South Main Street)

Bon Mot Bonus: Eric Mamula of Downstairs at Eric’s (a.k.a. THE Eric of Eric’s) is currently the Mayor of Breckenridge. Be sure to say “hello” and catch up on local politics if you see him there.

Enjoy Your Own Company

Finally, if the rain or chilly weather keeps you indoors, why not spend some time hanging out and playing games? Take some time to explore your vacation rental and snuggle up with your travel companions. We never leave home without a deck of Uno cards, some fun art supplies, and a few packable family-friendly games. Our favorites include Sequence, Jenga, and Connect 4. (Click the links to access travel-sized versions on Amazon.) Sometimes it’s a good idea to actually rest while on vacation.

Breckenridge, Colorado is an amazing place with tons to do both indoors and out. It’s easily accessible and centrally located for summer and winter excursions, and our family always loves the time we spend there. (Check out my “Road Trip Readiness” post.) So go explore and enjoy all the town has to offer!

The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I‘d love to hear about your fun vacation tips for rainy days. Please comment and share. And thank you for stopping by Being Bon Mot!

Five Tips for Road Trip Readiness

This summer marks our family’s fifth cross-country road trip.  While the drives are long, we love having our own vehicle and an abundance of stuff when we travel.  Pillows from home? Yes, please!  We certainly have our mileage limits, but our kids have become quite the road warriors. The idea of driving 15 hours in a confined space with bickering siblings is enough to make anyone nervous, but with a little preparation and a lot of prayer, we manage to survive and, even enjoy, our time together.  

Over the years I’ve put together a “Roadtrip Readiness” checklist to help plan for the long journey.  Here are five easy tips to help you and your family prepare for the road ahead.

** This post contains affiliate links.  As an Amazon Associate, I earn commissions from qualifying products at no additional cost to you. I never recommend products that I haven’t tried myself.

Service your car

It may go without saying, but it is a wise idea to give your car a mechanical once-over before embarking on a long drive.  I learned early-on that road trips can be hard on vehicles, and we sometimes neglect routine maintenance if our normal routes are relatively short.  I tend to stay within a five-mile radius of my house so my car coughs and sputters at the idea of a 1,000-mile journey.

Change your oil if you haven’t done so recently, especially if you’re driving through extreme temperatures. Ask the mechanics to check all of your fluid levels and top them off as necessary.  Most neighborhood oil change outfits and even automobile repair shops will look over your car for free or a small fee.  It’s worth the investment to ensure that everything is ship-shape under the hood.

Check the pressure and general health of your tires.  Make sure your windshield wipers are streak-free.  Be sure all of your headlights and blinkers are in working order. You get the idea.  

In spite of all this service, I always pack an emergency car kit just in case.  Having it in the car gives me peace of mind, and, let’s be honest, everyone needs one of those reflective triangle thingys.    

Clean & Tidy

Listen, road trips are messy.  Your car has never seen snack crumbs like the ones that materialize after ten straight hours of driving.  That’s why I like to start with a clean slate.  I go beyond just the typical interior and exterior wash and take time to empty out the nooks and crannies.  I empty the in-door storage, glove compartment, etc. of anything extra before disembarking. You will need as much space as possible to store your necessities in reach while on the road.

My kids have a tendency to stuff toys and even random trash into their cupholders, seatbacks, you name it. I get help from them on this step, and we always find a ‘lost-forever’ Shopkin or favorite pencil somewhere.  

Check Your Data Plan

Here’s the truth: we survive road trips mostly because the kids can spend time playing games and watching shows/movies/YouTube on their devices.  Until I stumbled into the awesomeness of unlimited Wi-Fi in my super cool new minivan, we burned through my cellular hotspot bandwidth rather quickly.  I always dreaded getting that “you’ve reached your data limit” notice hours from our final destination.

All data plans are not created equal.  If you intend to have your kids use devices while on the road, I suggest contacting your service provider to understand your available data (personal hotspot available limits are often different than general monthly allowances).  For limited plans, I recommend asking for help understanding how bytes and bits translate into minutes/hours of Wi-Fi use.  Then multiply that times the number of people tapping into the data. Don’t forget the co-pilot.

Map Routes & Make Reservations

I never advocate for winging it on road trip routes or overnight plans. Check the possible paths to your destination and think through how many hours you want to spend driving each day.  Our family can tolerate about eight to nine hours (500-600 miles) before we need a break from driving.  Your time may vary depending on your kids’ ages and your general determination to get the whole thing over with as soon as possible.  

Do you want to stop and eat lunch or drive thru and press on?  How often will you need to stop for fuel?  These are things to think through before hitting the road.  And remember that younger kids (and husbands with micro-bladders) need potty breaks often.  

If you plan to stop overnight along the way, I strongly recommend making a hotel reservation in advance.  Doing so avoids the mayhem of searching for a suitable room once you finally decide to call it a day.  Plus, it gives everyone something to look forward to (especially if you book a place with a pool!).  

Bonus Tip: While digital map apps and GPS work fine in most cases, I recommend having a paper map of your overall route to consult in cases of poor reception.  This good ol’ fashioned road atlas works well for us. It’s also fun to have your kids follow the route in their own atlas and learn about the states you’re passing through.  

I recall a time during college when my friend and I drove from Memphis to Nashville (almost three full hours) looking for a hotel along I-40.  We were road tripping back from New York to Dallas over Spring Break, and it was a less-than-awesome end to a great trip.  We still talk about how tired and grumpy we were that night.  And how we ended up in the grossest motel ever.  Needless to say, I learned my lesson.

Please don’t misunderstand. I love spontaneous stops at fun places along the way. Never pass up a visit the world’s largest ball of twine. (In case you’re wondering, it’s in Cawker City, Kansas.)   Pull over at that cute little fruit stand touting Texas’s finest peaches.  Always make a little extra time for bathroom and snack breaks.   Because, with road trips, the journey matters, but with kids in tow, so does the destination.

Pack Up & Hit the Road

Once your car is clean, serviced, and ready for the trip, find a good place for your luggage and equipment and hit the road!  Be sure to put everything your pilot will need within safe reach.  I always make sure I have plenty of water and copious amounts of coffee along with my lip balm and cell phone close by. 

Give your kids easy access to their own snacks and water if you want to avoid having to hand them something every 2.4 minutes.  I also put their books, easy art supplies, and other activities in a bin between them. Check out the fun mini activity pouches created by my friends and mompreneurs at Twig & Olive – they’re perfect on this little tray to pass time in the car.

Bonus Tip:  Pack a separate overnight bag with changes of clothes and toiletries if you plan to stop along the way.  Be sure it ends up being placed in easy reach in the back of the car, along with anything else you’ll want to take in for the night.

My kids love to road trip in their flip flops so they can kick them off as soon as we’re in the car.  Because we usually need either socks and/or tennis shoes at some point along the way, I slide them under the seat for easy access.

We take a small cooler with snacks that can serve as meal substitutes like hummus and pretzels, salami and cheese, etc. Plus it’s great to have a cooler and ice packs handy for picnics on vacation. Packing a jug of water from home also saves us time and money. We refill our reusable bottles along the way instead of buying bottled water at every stop. Ours lasts for days and helps my sensitive-tummy family transition into using local water while away from home.

Bottom Line: Road trips are what you make of them. We try to focus on the fun of the journey as much as the excitement of reaching our final destination. Happy trails to you!

To travel is to live.

Hans Christian Andersen

I’d love to hear your road trip stories. Please comment and share below.

5 Reasons to Visit Your Public Library this Summer

It’s more than just the books – beat the heat and the dreaded “summer slide” with a visit your local library.

I’m a big believer in libraries.  I think it’s a hazard of my job as a college professor, but I find tremendous value in spending time in the presence of books.  With the kids out of school and looking for new and fun activities, summer is a perfect time for a library field trip. Here are my top five reasons why:

The Free Books

This may go without saying, but borrowing books is ideal for bibliophile kids like mine.  A trip to Half Price Books costs us at least $50, and the benefit of free books should be enough to justify the visit.  My kids, especially the 11-year-old, is a veracious reader, and he can easily read three or four books every week over the summer.

The Free Non-Books

Libraries are chock full of books, but you can find lots more there too. For those of us who actually own and know how to use a DVD (Blu-Ray, whatever…) player, you probably know you can also borrow movies, television series, and even (gasp!) audio books.  

These aren’t the real treasures though. In my opinion, the best non-book parts of a library are found in exploring special collections like maps, photographs, and other undiscovered materials.  And if you really want to rock your kids’ world, show them some old newspapers on microfilm or microfiche. 

Look, Mom, free books!

The Programming

Public libraries everywhere feature exciting kids’ programs for all ages. While there’s always story time and puppet shows, most cities invest in intriguing author visits, science demonstrations, etc. to attract audiences to their libraries.  Follow your library on social media to stay on top of events and activities.

The People

First, librarians are some of the most helpful and kind people in the universe (at least the ones I know are).  They are always more than willing to help you or your child find your new favorite author or literary genre.  Get to know the librarians at your local public library, and they’ll greet you with a warm smile every time you stop by.  

Moreover, public libraries are, well, public.  People from all walks of life use libraries to search for jobs on the internet, conduct genealogy research, and even to escape extreme weather conditions.  Libraries are a demographic melting pot.  While I can’t attest for every community, our Dallas public libraries provide a sound lesson in the vast diversity of our great city.

A scene from our beloved local public library.

General Enrichment

Planning a trip this summer?  Trying to overcome the dreaded “summer slide”?  Just looking for something new and different to do?  Plan some time at your library.  Send the kids on an age appropriate scavenger hunt.  Start a family book club.  Assign them a research project for your summer vacation destination (hint: look at some of those maps I mentioned earlier).  Use the library for its intended purpose – to sit quietly and browse. 

I’d love to hear stories about your public library. Please share them in the comments below.

Every time you enter a library you might say to yourself, “The world is quiet here,” as a sort of pledge proclaiming reading to be the greater good.

From The Slippery Slope by Lemony Snickett

Women Buying Cars

I recently bought a car and lived to tell about it. This is the story and some tips for survival.

Ladies in the Driver’s Seat: Capitalizing on Our Buying Power and Rejecting Ridiculous Consumer Stereotypes

I recently bought a car. Well, I bought a minivan, but that’s a story for another time.  And when I say I bought it, I mean I bought it.  I went to the dealership, negotiated the deal, signed the papers, and, eventually, left with a shiny new vehicle.  I’ve mentioned this independent purchase to a few friends, and they seem genuinely shocked that I handled it all myself.  It wasn’t that they feel incapable of a car purchase; it was the idea of navigating the transaction without a wingman.

I get it.  Car shopping is not my favorite thing.  It’s intimidating and overwhelming, and I usually leave feeling like I need a shower. Compound the fact that I’m a woman and have only limited knowledge of automobiles (not because of my gender but because I just don’t have a keen interest in the subject), and things get downright scary.  I don’t take my dad or my brother or my bestie or even my husband to buy a car. Why would I? It’s not theirs to drive. But, given the reaction I received I wanted to explore the idea of women buying cars a little more.  The intersection of psychology and economics fascinates me.  Throw in the question of gender disparity, and you’ve got yourself a topic worth blogging about!

minivan mom,  women buying cars, Chrysler Pacifica
Blue Minivan Should Not Mean Car-Buying Blues

Women buy about 54% of cars in the United States, and they influence the overall purchase of 84% of vehicles.  But we dread the car buying experience.  Dealerships want us to believe that their sales staff treat men and women the same.  And I’m sure some of them do.  Others make their best effort.  But some, based on my unscientific observation and very real experience, patronize and undermine women at some point during the transaction.    

Case-in-point:  When I was negotiating the price of the super-cool minivan I decided to buy, the sales guy bounced in so excited to tell me that he’d found me $500.  What he failed to either notice or bring to my attention, was that the price of a bogus dealer package (who needs wheel locks on their mom van?) had actually increased by $200, actually netting a $300 difference from the previous offer.  It wasn’t the amount that irritated me, it was the audacity of the Wizard of Oz-esque manager to assume I wouldn’t notice the difference.  One thing I can assure you is that my ovaries don’t keep me from doing basic math.

Research supports these observations.  Multiple studies dating back several decades confirm gender and race discrimination in pricing and negotiation during the purchase of an automobile.  As a matter of fact, one study found significant differences in price even when all participants (men and women) followed identical scripts.  While I’m grateful for the validation that my experiences aren’t unique, it’s discouraging that even knowledge and confidence don’t compensate for generalized perceptions. 

I’m infuriated by the notion that we have to choose our car-buying wardrobe carefully, and that in 2019, women still experience these ridiculous biases.  So how do we overcome this nonsense?

Do your research.  

The internet has ample sources for trade-in valuations and true car pricing.  I suggest knowing enough about your perspective vehicle to talk about differences in features, models, and reliability.  Even incentives, rebates, and competitors’ pricing can come in handy. It’s also perfectly acceptable to simply show up, test drive a vehicle, and then leave.  Salespeople won’t make you feel that way, but a quick spin to rule out one car over another is a perfectly fine (and encouraged) practice.  When you get down to the numbers, don’t negotiate car payments – negotiate the price of the car.  Ultimately that’s what matters.

Take someone to ride shotgun.  

Honestly, things would have been much smoother and more fun if I had taken someone with me to buy my minivan.  If nothing else, they would have provided some levity for my jump into the deep end of mom life.  You don’t need to take your husband or dad or someone who appears to know more about cars than you.  Pick someone you want to share the experience with, not necessarily someone you see as an expert.  

A 1967 study examining the relationship between confidence and the car buying experience found that consumers were less vulnerable to persuasion when they had specific feelings of adequacy in making the decision.  In other words, confidence only matters in car buying when it’s specific to your feelings about car buying, not general aplomb.  Moreover, this and subsequent inquiries confirmed that buyer self-confidence increases significantly when they are accompanied by a “purchase pal.”  

get out there, ladies — Study up and buddy up, and go buy that shiny new ride! 

Geeky Stuff & Sources
  • Ayres, Ian, and Peter Siegelman. “Race and Gender Discrimination in Bargaining for a New Car.” The American Economic Review 85, no. 3 (1995): 304-21. 
  • Bell, Gerald D. “Self Confidence and Persuasion in Car Buying.” Journal of Marketing Research. 4 (1967): 46-52.
  • Edmunds – Car Pricing & Reviews
  • Kelley Blue Book – The OG of car sales pricing and advice.