College Archives - Being Bon Mot

An Open Letter to Seniors

To whom it may concern:

We owe these seniors WAY more than rolls of quarters and fancy pens. The Class of 2020 deserves to celebrate the way the rest of us did – in sweaty polyester gowns and unflattering mortarboards – but coronavirus has robbed them of those regaled traditions.

To the members of the Class of 2020:

This really sucks. And I’m so sorry.

You have been robbed of all the pomp and circumstance (pun intended) afforded you in graduating. Friends and family looking forward to celebrating your accomplishments have been forced to settle for lame video celebrations, car parades, and socially distanced commencements. Whether high school or college, this particular graduating class is getting more than a raw deal with the current COVID-19 crisis.

I feel you. I wish I could make things ‘normal’ again. And I’m sorry.

As the school year comes to a close, the seniors in my life have been heavy on my heart. Saying goodbye to students at the end of the spring semester is always sad, but this year has been especially difficult. When we left for Spring Break, we were sure we would see each other again. We anticipated some time away, but we remained positive. Then everything ended abruptly. Campus was closed (I’m sure there’s mold growing in a coffee mug in my office…); classes migrated online. And that was it.

If you got a spring break, it was overshadowed by the uncertainty and impending doom of the not-yet-understood virus sweeping the world. And worse yet, its namesake is the king of vacation beers. High schoolers missed Prom, awards banquets, and valuable time with friends before jetting off to the next thing.

College seniors trudged through Zoom University in their childhood bedrooms after abandoning the hard-fought independence of adulthood after four (ahem, or more) years. You missed parties, ring dunking (whoop!), and the opportunity to truly succumb to Senioritis. None of it is fair or fine.

It’s okay to be pissed. I’m pissed for you.

I’ll spare you the litany of discussions surrounding the job market, the uncertain landscape of fall college/graduate school, the impending uncomfortable greetings, and the like. Suffice it to say there may be more darkness before the light. But we WILL get to the light. We will. And when we do, you are still member of the effing CLASS OF 2020 – bonded in the age of uncertainty and unscathed by the broken promises of timely celebration.

You have sacrificed for this pandemic. Your families and loved ones have sacrificed. Believe me, hell hath no fury like a mother denied the perfect cap and gown photo op with her kid. You likely won’t be given sufficient opportunity to compensate for all these cancelled fetes. We can’t even figure out how to shop for groceries without anxiety.

I am grateful for your resilience and your ingenuity in the face of this abstruse reality.

As a person who has tortured my favorite people with ALL the graduations, I fully acknowledge what you’re giving up. You’ve spent hours and years sitting through lectures (sorry again), writing papers, taking tests, and learning stuff you may never need to know after this month.

Texas A&M Class of 1999 (undergrad) – Someone should have talked me out of wearing those shoes.

But more than the buildings and the desks and the ridiculous assignments, you have been asked to distance yourselves from your friends, teachers, and support structures. Those relationships are what matter, and they will endure. You are bonded by experience, and this is one profound experience, Class of 2020.

I wish each and every one of you the very best. This crisis does not define you. Your tenacity does. You’ll eventually receive the diploma you’ve worked so hard to earn. And when you do, I sincerely hope you’ll frame it and proudly display it right next to your face mask and that sacred square of toilet paper.

Out there things can happen, and frequently do, To people as brainy and footsy as you. And when things start to happen, don’t worry, don’t stew. Just go right along, you’ll start happening too!
Dr. Seuss, Oh the Places You’ll Go

A Room with a View

The transition to online learning has changed the way I see my students in so many ways. An ode to embracing the chaos…

We made it through our first few weeks at COVID-U! The fast and furious transition to distance learning is starting to manifest itself in new and interesting ways. Professors are settling into the new cadence of muted screens and electronically raised hands while students are getting more and more comfortable in the pants-optional environment. Struggling to find normalcy in the digital classroom, we cling to the familiarity of the material as we work to preserve the dynamics of the classroom. But it all feels different.

I’ve always been baffled by the idea of FaceTime. I grew up in a world where telephones tethered us to home, where we spun ourselves into spiraly phone cords over hours-long conversations. Where three-way and call waiting were the height of sophistication. “No – you hang up!” I didn’t get a cell phone until the year I graduated from college. I know, I’m old.

Now I buzz around in a world where students FaceTime with their parents while walking to class. No one is as worried about being camera ready as I feel like they should be. Several times a day, as the door to my classrooms open, I hear them say, “Mom! Mom! I gotta go. I just walked into class.” The concept of simple audio conversations seems lost. They opt to see everyone they speak with, including their parents. And I’ve never understood it. As much as I love my children, I have no desire to look up their noses as they commute to class.

Alas, in this new and evolving socially-distanced world, my professional life has morphed into a constant video stream. We Zoom lectures. We Zoom meetings. We even Zoom happy hour. I’m here for it. I’ve been delighted to see everyone’s sweet faces, even if it is online. I don’t mind the brow shots with spinning ceiling fan overhead. I’ve embraced the perfectly curated backgrounds (the Tiger King ones are my absolute fave!). Heck, I don’t even mind the occasional up-the-nose view.

I now get to see my students through a lens I never have before.

We no longer meet in sterile classrooms and cluttered offices. We meet at home. Students don’t sit behind desks. They lay in their beds or out by their pool or sit at their kitchen table. At home.

I don’t stand at the front of class in my sensible shoes lecturing, dry erase marker in hand, doing my best to keep students engaged. I sit in the quietest corner of the house, trying to juggle the imminent needs of my children with my commitment to teaching. I’m connecting with the faces and voices that are so familiar, broadcast from a wholly unfamiliar environment.

This is a room with a different view – a view from home.

I’ve met more moms in the past two weeks than I have in my entire professorial career. They pop into the screen, and we take a minute to chat and catch up. Because why not? This whole thing is weird. Their grown kid is finishing college at home, back in their spaces months before expected (if at all). And as a mom myself, I know they’re low-key checking out the whole Zoom university thing because, let’s be honest, it’s fascinating.

I’ve also started ending classes with open discussion and ‘Pet Show & Tell.’ My kids love showing off our cat, Noodle, and I am delighted to see the dogs and cats and horses that are keeping my students company at home. Ask me how many students’ pets I’ve met in my life. One. Only one puppy who was brought to a summer class in a lapse of judgement and caused such a commotion that I had to ask that it not happen again.

In this new digital learning environment, I welcome puppies and moms and little sisters and whomever else is in the room. You can eat, drink, exercise, watch television, text your friends, shop for shoes – anything goes now at COVID-U. And showers are always optional. I’m embracing the loss of control of my classes and choosing to embrace the chaos. Because it’s all chaos right now.

The pedagogical paradigm has shifted in light of this world-wide pandemic. Learning objectives now center on the preservation of both physical and mental health. Course curriculum has taken a backseat to empathy and compassion. The classroom looks different, but it’s the meeting of the minds that matters most. And I am excited to meet my students where they are.

I would love to hear about your adventures in online learning. Please share them because we’re all in this together.

Shoutout to my Nonprofit Management students for agreeing to be photographed for the feature image! 📷 You are the best models a professor could ask for.

In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.
Carl Jung

Communicating with Your Professor – Helpful Hints

Sometimes things in college life require translation. Luckily, I speak professor!

Communication with professors is an important college skill. When I asked my current and former students for suggestions on topics to address from the professor’s perspective, it was a recurring theme. Several noted that they didn’t feel comfortable addressing questions with professors until later in their college career, once they got the hang of college life and figured out professors aren’t ogres (well, most of us aren’t anyway). In an effort to stave off nerves and general fears, here are my Top 5 suggestions for navigating communication with your professor.

Consider the context of your conversation.

Ambushing your professor after class to ask for an extension on your paper or to reschedule a test is not a good idea. First of all, it’s very unlikely you will get enough time to explain your situation during the passing period. Second, your professor will be very well-aware that others are paying close attention to their response to your request.

It’s certainly appropriate (and encouraged) to chat with professors after class to get clarification on lecture notes or expound on a topic of particular interest to you. Be mindful of the context of your conversation and decide the appropriate venue. Confidential conversations should take place in private. Sometimes it’s best to make an appointment with your professor to discuss sensitive issues like disability accommodations or assignment exceptions. Sometimes it’s best to stop by office hours, which brings me to my next point…

Use office hours.

I think I spend 80% of my office hours sitting alone in my office. No need for pity – I have plenty to do! The real pity is that students rarely use professors’ office hours until they are in peril, if at all. Here’s a newsflash: Professors NEVER mind you visiting office hours. You don’t need permission. It’s our job to hold office hours, and it’s your job to use them wisely.

I’ve said before it’s a good idea to pop by your professor’s office hours to introduce yourself. At the very least, use office hours to talk through points of confusion in course material or to engage in discussion about the stuff you find most compelling from assigned reading. Professors work pretty hard to develop courses, and we love talking to our students about what they’re learning!

Demonstrate proper respect.

The appropriate way to address your professor in person AND in writing is to call them “Professor So-and-So.” If you know your professor has a doctoral degree, it’s also fine to address them as “Doctor So-and-So.” You should NEVER call your professor by their first name unless given express permission to do so.

I work hard to be as approachable as I can for my students. But I can’t help but get a little offended when a student feels that they may address me by my first name, especially upon first meeting or when addressing an email. I realize there is healthy debate surrounding this issue, and many of my colleagues ask their students to address them by first name. My position is that first name should not be the default. Calling professors by their first name ipso facto diminishes their expertise and implies a more casual relationship.

Read more on this professorial identity crisis in The Chronicle of Higher Education.

Be prepared.

Familiarize yourself with your professor’s policies on extensions and absences. Most importantly, you should be prepared to accept the penalty for any violation of their policy before you meet with your professor. Begging is never a good idea.

If you’re talking with your professor about course content or need help with a paper, it helps to bring class notes to your meeting or to understand the basic requirements of the assignment.

Please don’t misunderstand this one — it’s not always necessary to prepare for a conversation with your professor. Spontaneous and organic chats with students are always productive. Preparation is only necessary when you have an agenda and/or expectation of the conversation.

Plan ahead.

It is inevitable that someone will have some conflict with course schedules. Illnesses and deaths are certainly the exception to the planning piece. However, if you know in advance that you have to miss an important course component, e.g. exam, presentation, etc., address it with your professor as early as possible, preferably in their office. If you need guidance on a paper, go meet with your professor well in advance of due dates. Start reviewing for exams in time to allow for questions and clarification.

The bottom line…

Communicate with your professors! Introduce yourself, participate in class, and approach your courses conscientiously. You will find them receptive to your inquiries and interest in their course. So have a great semester!

Thoughts on communication tactics? Do you have more to tried and true tips to add? I’m happy to answer any questions you have so please comment and share!

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
George Bernard Shaw

Smart Steps to Start the Semester

A smart start to the semester is one of the best ways to ensure success in college. These seven tips from Professor BonMot help build a strong foundation for learning even before the first day of class.

I’m not sure if you’ve looked at the calendar lately, but we’re creeping towards that dreaded first day of class. Are you ready? Are you sure? In college it’s pretty unlikely you’re going to hold up a chalkboard sign on your front porch that says “First Day of Sophomore Year! When I grow up, I want to be a dancer and a paleontologist.” (But if you do, please post a picture and tag me in it @beingbonmot!)

Your back to school shopping for college looks very different these days than it did in primary school. I have students who obviously spend a lot of time thinking through their first day outfit. Some obviously spend none at all. Nonetheless, Back to School season looks much different once you’re up and out of the house.

I see this thing happen at the beginning of every semester, especially in the fall. Students take one of two paths. They either hit the ground running, more prepared than I am for the first day of class. Or they resign themselves to a slow start, not really worrying about reading or checking in on course material until the first exam or quiz looms. I’d argue that most all college students intend to take the first path, but you know what they say about good intentions…

So I’ve put together these seven suggestions to help you choose the best path heading into a new semester in college. Because in the words of my muse, Benjamin Franklin, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”

** This post contains affiliate links. I may earn a small commission from any purchases you make at no additional cost to you. I love school supplies, and I wouldn’t recommend any products I haven’t used.

Sylla-Business

Find your course syllabi before the first day of class. They are usually available online. Read them, calendar any important dates, and pay special attention to policies and procedures. If you have questions, ask them during the first class meeting. They don’t call it “syllabus week” for nothing!

Organization Orientation

Get organized for the semester before it starts. Open note folders on your computer and think through your approach to class notes, handouts, and other course materials. If you’re a luddite like me, label your notebooks and sharpen your pencils. Shop for supplies including highlighters, sticky notes, and pens in lots of fun colors (Paper Mate Flair are my absolute favorite).

Double-check that syllabus for blue book and scantron requirements, and buy them early. Nothing incites panic like a shortage of blue books during midterms. If you’re looking for a gold star from your professor, keep a dry erase marker and small stapler in your backpack for when theirs runs out of ink or staples. And trust me when I tell you that you always want to have an extra pen or two on hand for when your class crush asks you to borrow (just sayin’).

Serious about Scheduling

Set your schedule – I often talk about treating college like a job so preparing your schedule is very important (see “How to Succeed in College in 5 Easy Steps“). Start by putting all of your class meetings and labs on your calendar. Make sure all of your exam, quiz, and other due dates are there too (or use this cool planner I swear by). Think through your lunch, snack, and coffee breaks before the term starts. Put study and reading time on your calendar where you have obvious openings. If you schedule this time like an important meeting that appears on your calendar (or Apple Watch), you will be more likely to honor the commitment.

If you like to work out, this is an excellent opportunity to find time in your schedule to do it. Most universities have a fitness center with great group exercise classes. Try to fit one of those into your schedule, especially early in the semester. It’s also a great way to meet new people!

Reading Readiness

First, buy/rent your text books. Next, start reading. No seriously, start reading. At the very least, open your textbooks and get a feel for what you’re dealing with. If your syllabus has outside reading assignments early in the semester, go find them, download/print them (save them to that folder you’ve already opened in Word), and have them ready. But my best advice – start reading.

Find Your Way

Take a tour, especially if you’re new to campus. Stroll around and find your classrooms. If you’re feeling ambitious, locate the restrooms and maybe pick a seat. Do you have enough time to get across campus to your next class? I still do this if I’ve been assigned to a new classroom. Back-to-back classes can be tricky, especially if you like to loiter and talk to friends after class (or if your students like to hang out and talk to you…).

Sharing is Caring

Share your schedule with your loved ones. Be sure your parents have a good idea about when you’ll be in class, especially if you talk to them often. Knowing you have a 9:00 a.m. class will save your mom’s feelings when you don’t answer her call. It’s also a good idea to let everyone know when you’ll be home for holidays and other breaks.

(Sidenote to any parents reading this: It is REALLY poor form to make travel reservations or other plans for your college-aged kid without consulting their class and exam schedule first. It’s even poorer form to send said kid to ask for an exam makeup or other accommodation because of your willy-nilly reservations. I mean…)

Healthy Habits

Rest up, hydrate, and get ready to learn. You’ll have the most energy and enthusiasm for learning at the beginning of the semester so capitalize on it. Be conscious of the need for balance from the first day. Choose your late nights wisely. Also recognize and capitalize on opportunities to meet new people and experience new things. This is college for crying out loud. Enjoy it! And hydrate. Hydration, real hydration (not Thirsty Thursday hydration) is key.

One final note: Call your mom.

You’re off to great places. Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting so get on your way.
Dr. Seuss

A Commencement Commentary

A professor’s commentary on graduation. A tribute to her students.

A few weeks ago I promised my tens of readers that I would write a post to assist you with navigating the traditions of commencement. I outlined the post, created the graphics, and then I completely failed you. I rarely let something fall completely off of my ‘to do’ list, and I apologize for the disappointment. As most parents and educators know, May is always a mess. It’s simultaneously exciting and completely terrifying to bring another school year to a close. This year has been no different. In addition to the usual concerts, celebrations, and general kid preparations over the last couple of weeks, I’ve graded 64 Blue Book exams and more than 500 pages of term papers. I’m not making excuses or looking for sympathy – just stating the facts.

And yesterday was graduation – the exclamation point on the end of every academic year.

I have tormented my friends and family with more graduation ceremonies than I care to count. In the business, they would say I have a terminal degree. I feel like my family probably thinks that there was something terminal about all the ceremonies I made them sit through. But now I get to go to graduation every year. I get to put on my fancy hat and robes* and watch droves of hard-working college graduates walk across the stage to receive their diplomas. Sometimes I take for granted all the work that goes into this celebration and the accomplishment of getting an undergraduate degree. But only because I get to see it so often. In reality though, for the families in attendance, graduation is the ultimate moment for pride in their children, in their family, and in the accomplishments and potential of the people they love the most.

Despite the conventional (albeit often misguided) wisdom about Mustangs, many of our students are the first in their family to graduate. Several have gotten married or had children while earning their degree. Many have overcome unimaginable hardships during their time in college. Some of our students, often those who hail from outside the U.S., have only one family member in attendance for graduation. Regardless, they all earn their bachelor’s degree from SMU (many earn more than one). And, despite their differences, every one of their diplomas looks the same, and it announces the completion of a significant accomplishment.*

Schortgen in Regalia — Graduation = The one day a year I get to don this fancy business.

I get to shake the hand of most every student who graduates from our department. Some of them I do not know. Many of them I do. And some of them, the select few who choose to subject themselves to the repeated agony of my classes, are students whom I have seen nearly every day for a significant portion of their undergraduate life. And now that they’re graduating I will miss them. I will miss seeing their faces, and I will miss entertaining their thoughts. I will miss hearing about their life’s dreams, and now instead I get to see them live them out.

I am so grateful that my job allows me to play a role in these students’ lives. For most of them I play only a small role, a guest star if you will. The role of the professor who tortures them with the School House Rocks version of American history and badgers them into being savvy philanthropists. For some I’m simply the professor who teaches them about income tax and throws shade at her husband for always donating to telephone solicitors. Honestly, my only hope for all of my students is that I get to impart just a little wisdom to take into the world.

But there are others who seek me out to play a more featured role in their college career. These are the students who choose to regularly come visit my office, to take strolls with me around campus, and share their lives with me for just a little while. Then they have the nerve to up and graduate. And I am always so thankful for our time together.

The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.
Aristotle

Here’s a glimpse of that Commencement Compendium I promised (sort of…) *

Tam – The fancy hat worn by those with doctoral-level degrees. Not to be mistaken for the mortarboard which is the square graduation ‘cap’ worn by undergraduates.

Hood – The backwards-looking velvet and satin neck adornment worn by those with either masters or doctoral degrees. The colors and shapes of the hood are dictated by each institution and field of study. Doctoral hoods are longer and often more ornate than those for masters degrees.

Robes – A tradition dating back to the 12th century, many scholars surmise that robes were originally intended to be the great equalizer for attire in an academic setting. Now robes signify unity among graduates and vary by level of educational attainment. Undergraduate (as well as high school and other, cuter graduates like kindergarteners) robes have pointed sleeves; masters have closed sleeves, often with a square or oblong detail near the wrist. Doctoral robes are most ornate with three velvet bars on the sleeve. (Bon Mot Note: Robes should always be worn with sensible, timeless shoes. Trust me – nothing says “I graduated from high school in the 90s,” like a pair of those black slip-on Steve Madden wedges.)

National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) data suggests that less than 60% of students who enroll in college graduate within six years.

How to Succeed in College in Five Easy Steps

Advice from a college professor.

This fall nearly 20 million students will head off to college. All of them toting their newly sharpened pencils, pristine notebooks, and shiny laptops ready to soak up all the knowledge available to them in the campus environment. They’ll walk confidently into America’s lecture halls and seminar rooms ready to learn. Um… not quite.

I’ve been teaching at the college level for more than 15 years, and I still love the energy the fall semester brings. I love school so much that I’ve never really left it. But I’m also aware of how panic-inducing a new school year can be. I see the simultaneous excitement and fear on my students’ faces as they start to noodle through their semester and the impending doom of course requirements. They often get so overwhelmed by the prospect of the new semester that they immediately fall behind in their classes. But here’s the thing – once you figure out a system that works for you – a system of studying and keeping track of due dates and balancing the freedom of college life – things get easier. And they keep getting easier every semester.

So here’s my best advice on how to develop useful systems to help you succeed in college. It’s not specific advice on how to ace your physics exam or write the perfect term paper. Instead what follows are my general tips for whether you’ve just moved into the dorm for the first time or you’re on your graduate-school victory lap.

Treat Your College Experience Like a Job

I give this advice to anyone who asks and even some who don’t. One of the most logical ways to adhere to the vast number of tip lists like these is to ‘work’ a certain number of hours per week on being a college student. It’s generally accepted that for one hour of in-class lecture, you should spend nearly two hours preparing. In other words, going to class is a great idea but so is reading and preparing. If you consider a full work day, five days a week as your goal, you’ll allow for plenty of time to get your classwork done and leave plenty of time in the evenings to soak up the college experience. A 9:00 to 5:00 day gives you 40 hours of work time a week, and on balance, that’s about how much time you should be spending studying and attending class. So set your alarm and try getting your work done during daylight hours instead of frantically burning the midnight oil.

Footnote: I realize that many college students have obligations outside of school. Some have to work and others, like student athletes, have very little freedom with their time. The point here is to set a schedule, a consistent schedule, that works for you.

Visit Your Professor (Really!)

Office Hours are one of the most under-utilized tools available to students in college, especially undergraduates who are cultivating skills and trying to navigate campus life. With few exceptions, I only see my students during office hours when they’re fearful of failing my course or desperate for help on an assignment. These are fine reasons to visit with your professors, but I would encourage you to make a point to stop by and introduce yourself early in the semester in order to personalize your relationship (and help them learn your name and face). Bottom line: Office hours exist for a reason, and your professors won’t bite.

Use Your Laptop for Good Not for Evil a.k.a Listen & Take Notes

Many behavioral studies show that our attention will go towards the most interesting thing in a room at a given time. What’s more, when determining which sensory input to prioritize, we tend to focus more on things that are applicable to us personally. So if you’re using your laptop, tablet, etc. to take notes during class and your email and messaging applications are also open, you’ll likely be distracted away from the professor’s lecture whether you choose to reply or not. Your mind could wander anytime to that new pair of shoes you need to buy or pressing online to-do list item even when you know the material you’re hearing will be on the test. Understand that I fully appreciate that laptops and tablets are useful for students, but they should be treated like one-dimensional digital spiral notebooks during class, not the interactive (distracting) tools we appreciate them for outside the classroom. This is why many of my colleagues have banned them, and why I always struggle with banning them myself. So do everyone a favor and use that laptop for good during class time, and shop for shoes after hours.

Communicate Professionally

Most of us have succumb to the limited character, short-attention span means of communication by way of text messaging and/or social media. I fully acknowledge the need for efficiency using those vehicles. You should, however, use your college experience to either develop or grow your fluency in professional communication. Using greetings and salutations, proper capitalization and punctuation, and an appropriate tone in email to your classmates, professors, and even your parents will help set you on a path to success. These things are important and often serve as people’s first impressions of you. Communications with your professors, internship advisors, and future bosses should never include “btw” or “OMG” or even “LOL,” no matter how many beers you’ve had together. Plus, let’s be honest – shortcuts imply laziness, and you never want to send that subtext to your potential employer or even your mom.

Sleep, Eat, and Hydrate

I’m really not trying to parent you here but taking care of yourself is extremely important, especially for physical and emotional development during prime college age (read: early 20s). I see it happen every semester right around midterms – students burn out. Balancing school work and college life gets exhausting, but it becomes too late to push the pause button to rest, hydrate, and regroup. Part of consistency and scheduling involves reliable sleep schedules and meals. We know so much about the link between healthy eating habits and sleep and brain function that it should be a given, but sometimes we need a reminder to rest. So rest. Make time to rest, buy a cool refillable water bottle, and treat yourself to fresh fruits and vegetables as often a possible. Your body (and brain) will thank you. And wash your hands too because new semesters mean exposure to new germs. Don’t get me started…

There are so many other tidbits I thought about including here – this certainly isn’t an exhaustive list. Are there things you find/found especially helpful during college or graduate school? I’d love to hear about your tips, tricks, and good study habits!