motherhood Archives - Being Bon Mot

The Night Before School Starts

A poem celebrating the new year and the joy some parents relish in sending their kids back to school.

Twas the night before school starts,
When all through the house,
Not a kid was whining or begging for a snack.
It's time to resume schedules: bedtime was back. 

The backpacks were hung on their hooks by the door.
We all know this is the only night they’re not spread on the floor.
Children were sleeping while the sun is still out.
With visions of recess swirling about.

Mama with her wine glass and Dad with his bourbon,
Just settling down to binge watch “Jane the Virgin”.
When feelings of guilt start to creep in,
Should we be this giddy that school starts tomorrow?
Pretending the end of summer is, oh, such a burden!
 
With siblings fighting, screen time overload, and battles for showers,
Who wouldn’t want another couple of hundred hours?
With grocery store visits accompanied by beggars,
Trying hard not to be the mom who is craggier.

Finding contraband bags of Cheetos in the cart;
And every conversation punctuated with a fart.
Living this dream we call summer...
I won’t even think the early alarm is a bummer.
 
It hits you like a ton of red schoolhouse bricks:
Freedom starts tomorrow – you do some high kicks.
You feel a cool breeze, there’s a pep in your step -- 
The unmistakable sensation of days soaked in ease.
 
The chores of the school year, despite being near
Are nothing compared to a kazoo in your ear:

Now! Snack Duty, Carpool, Lunchboxes, and Meetings;
On! Uniforms, On! Practice, On! Lost Shoes, and Required Reading.
From the middle of August through the last day of May!
All the parents complaining, “Why are things always this way?”
 
Hardly remembering the trudge of the year’s hottest months.
Forgetting the bickering and pool towels on the floor.
Kids not remembering the reminders before:
To pick up after yourself is a fairly simple chore.

Now the ungrateful boredom will come to an end.
On busses and sidewalks, our kids we will send
To shiny new classrooms filled with delight.
Hoping they’ll be worn out enough to sleep well at night.
 
Camp schedules replaced by a million activities.
Someone else, my apologies, dealing with proclivities. 
For the asking of questions and the sometimes sassy
Hoping the kids get a (metaphorical) kick in the assy.
 
Some kids skipping down the hallway.
Some moping all day.
Regardless school's starting --
Tomorrow’s the day!
 
Whether high school or sixth grade or tiny kindergarten,
We will meet our new teacher; there'll be newness and fear.
Despite this, happy parents (like me) beg your pardon
Because empty backseats and peaceful shopping are near.
 
So decorate your chalkboards and charge up your cameras.
These moments are fleeting, there aren’t many beginnings.
About thirteen or fourteen if we play our cards right.
Because you know come college, they’ve all taken flight. 
 
I’m choosing joy and elation instead of deep sorrow.
But I understand the sadness of school starting tomorrow.

Summer is over; we all made it through.
Now get to bed early because, in the morning, there's lots to do.

All this chaos, will I miss it?  (Maybe) No way!
Am I tired of the school year? Ask me in May.

Obviously inspired by the classic “The Night Before Christmas” with apologies to real poets. Also inspired by my daughter who starts second grade tomorrow, but insisted on reading “The Night Before First Grade” before bed.

**This post contains affiliate links to products I love. As an Amazon Associate, I may earn commissions at no additional cost to you.

I’d love to hear your Back to School stories! Please share them below and follow the blog @beingbonmot.

5 Reasons to Visit Your Public Library this Summer

It’s more than just the books – beat the heat and the dreaded “summer slide” with a visit your local library.

I’m a big believer in libraries. I think it’s a hazard of my job as a college professor, but I find tremendous value in spending time in the presence of books. With the kids out of school and looking for new and fun activities, summer is a perfect time for a library field trip. Here are my top five reasons why:

The Free Books

This may go without saying, but borrowing books is ideal for bibliophile kids like mine. A trip to Half Price Books costs us at least $50, and the benefit of free books should be enough to justify the visit. My kids, especially the 11-year-old, is a veracious reader, and he can easily read three or four books every week over the summer.

The Free Non-Books

Libraries are chock full of books, but you can find lots more there too. For those of us who actually own and know how to use a DVD (Blu-Ray, whatever…) player, you probably know you can also borrow movies, television series, and even (gasp!) audio books.

These aren’t the real treasures though. In my opinion, the best non-book parts of a library are found in exploring special collections like maps, photographs, and other undiscovered materials. And if you really want to rock your kids’ world, show them some old newspapers on microfilm or microfiche.

The Programming

Public libraries everywhere feature exciting kids’ programs for all ages. While there’s always story time and puppet shows, most cities invest in intriguing author visits, science demonstrations, etc. to attract audiences to their libraries. Follow your library on social media to stay on top of events and activities.

The People

First, librarians are some of the most helpful and kind people in the universe (at least the ones I know are). They are always more than willing to help you or your child find your new favorite author or literary genre. Get to know the librarians at your local public library, and they’ll greet you with a warm smile every time you stop by.

Moreover, public libraries are, well, public. People from all walks of life use libraries to search for jobs on the internet, conduct genealogy research, and even to escape extreme weather conditions. Libraries are a demographic melting pot. While I can’t attest for every community, our Dallas public libraries provide a sound lesson in the vast diversity of our great city.

A scene from our beloved local public library.

General Enrichment

Planning a trip this summer? Trying to overcome the dreaded “summer slide”? Just looking for something new and different to do? Plan some time at your library. Send the kids on an age appropriate scavenger hunt. Start a family book club. Assign them a research project for your summer vacation destination (hint: look at some of those maps I mentioned earlier). Use the library for its intended purpose – to sit quietly and browse.

I’d love to hear stories about your public library. Please share them in the comments below.

Every time you enter a library you might say to yourself, “The world is quiet here,” as a sort of pledge proclaiming reading to be the greater good.
From The Slippery Slope by Lemony Snickett

5 Tips for Surviving a Power Outage with Kids

A.K.A “The No-Fortnite-Apocolypse”

Our lights went out a week ago and didn’t come back on for three days. Darkness forced our family to embrace luddite ways, and we did our best to stay positive despite the discomfort. We were lucky that our house didn’t sustain damage, and we suffered only minor inconveniences. Life without refrigeration, of both people and perishables, certainly wasn’t ideal, but, with a few well-stocked supplies and mom hacks, we were ready to embrace our pioneer days.

Living in Texas means crazy summer thunderstorms and frequent high winds and tornado warnings. No wonder it’s fourth on the list of states with the most power outages. Living in Dallas means dicey electrical infrastructure and big trees that often blow over. So while we weren’t completely unprepared for the likelihood of a bonkerballs summer storm, the intensity and aftermath shocked us a bit. Regardless of climate, weather changes can happen fast. As Mark Twain aptly quipped, “I have counted 136 different types of weather inside of 24 hours.”

Now that we have air conditioning and a restocked fridge, I thought it would be useful to shed light on a handful of ideas to get through the dark days and darker nights. While sitting ALONE in a warm(ish) dark house wouldn’t have been so bad, managing two kids and a busy husband certainly added a layer of chaos.

Prepare for the Worst, Hope for the Best

It is really easy to talk about the importance of preparation after your lights are out and the cool air stops blowing. It’s harder to be proactive about disaster readiness. While this post isn’t intended to give serious life-saving advice for surviving life without power, it is important to consider safety and relative comfort in the eye of the storm.

My best advice on preparation: Don’t ignore the to-do list. The minute we let our gas tank get too low and forget to buy batteries (for the third time) a freak storm descends to smite us for our procrastination. As soon as we start getting thunderstorm warnings in Dallas, I double-check my emergency cabinet and storm supplies (batteries, candles, bottled water – really just the basics). Your storm survival stockpile will obviously vary depending on your location, family size, and tolerance for deprivation.

Halfway through the first night, our daughter’s smoke alarm started beeping. It was completely unrelated to the power outage, but I was extra thankful for the surplus of nine-volt batteries I had on hand (we had to stop laughing long enough to climb the ladder in the dark). My husband’s camping coffee percolator over the gas stove saved me from a serious case of The Grumpies on day two. I even tapped into my theme park supplies to retrieve my battery operated hand-held fans and glow sticks.

camp coffee power outage — Camping Coffee Pot: Caffeine in a Powerless Pinch

It’s a good idea to build some routine into the things we often forget. Try to buy items like batteries, bottled water, and even flashlights in bulk to have a few extra set aside for a rainy (windy, stormy…. you get the idea) day. When in doubt, calendar a reminder to check emergency supplies twice a year. I set mine for April and October. And please, for the sake of all of us in the wake of your karma, don’t ignore the reminder!

Go Old School

How long has it been since you played a rousing game of chess or tested your steady hand at Operation? Dig out some of the games your kids haven’t played in a while (or ever), light that lantern, and throwback to the unplugged 80s. Rock some Hangman, Tic-Tac-Toe, Slap Jack, anything to distract from the absence of wifi.

Get creative

You know the best thing about flashlights – Shadow Puppets! Dark nights create a perfect backdrop to work on that hand-shadow-horse you’ve been trying to perfect. Take it one step further and have your kids trace the puppets to make fun and interesting shadow art. Build a blanket fort, bust out the craft box, or head outside (if it’s safe) for some freeze tag. You got this, mama!

kids popsicle party power outage — Everything melting in the freezer? Time for a Popsicle Party!

Be Productive

Are your kids’ drawers due for a thinning and reorganization? Is your Tupperware cabinet in disarray? Always wanted to color-code your craft supplies? Why not shed light on the darkness by checking off a few of those items deep on your to-do list? Get the kids to help out. Tidying, cleaning, and organizing can be done by candlelight. And, if you’re like me, making progress on forgotten tasks around the house almost makes up for the power outage. Almost.

Stay Positive

Parenting has taught me that poor attitudes are contagious. Yes; it stinks to live in the dark. Yes; it’s hard to sleep when you’re uncomfortable. No; I can’t turn on my Hotspot (for the 100^thtime!). I always remind my kids that we often can’t control the things that happen to us, but we can control the way we respond to them. Storms and power outages certainly test this family adage. Staying positive during trying times helps maintain perspective, especially in light of the uncertainty of Mother Nature. Wine also helps.

Storm season continues, and we’re crossing our fingers that the lights stay on. But if they don’t, I have some drawers that need organizing and a cabinet full of vintage board games calling our name.

I’d love to hear from you because we’re all in this together! What tips do you have for surviving a power outage?

Oh and just for fun, here are the Top 5 Power Outage States:

Michigan
Ohio
New York
Texas
California

Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.
Elizabeth Taylor

The Front Seat

Sharing the front seat with your kids means more than simply yielding your traveling storage space – it’s a metaphor for growth and maturity.

I’m wrapping up this Tales from the 5^th Grade series with some thoughts on sharing the front seat. From that dreaded rear-facing carrier to resisting the booster seat, every phase signals a child’s growth, maturity, and relative independence.

Now I’m facing the ultimate automotive accord – sharing the front seat with my kid.

My 5^th grader is clamoring to ride in the front seat of my car. As easy as it would be to allow him to move up front, I’m resisting. I’m resisting for a number of reasons. First, the great State of Texas recommends keeping children safely seated in the back until age 13. Even at average height and weight for his age, my son has only recently started riding without a booster (but don’t mention it his friends…). I always tell the kids that keeping them safe is our number one priority as parents, and I’m standing strong with this reasoning in the front seat debate. I know that my vehicle is equipped with the appropriate features to secure my little man, but I still get nervous about lazy seat belt use and air bag malfunction.

Second, the move to the front seat means I give up my personal space. And I don’t just mean breathing room. It’s the place I always put my purse and the other sundries I collect throughout the day (library books, water bottles, yoga mat… you know the drill). I often joke that my car is my office, and I’m not selling that prime real estate cheaply. Co-pilot training may be necessary. At a minimum, he’ll need to learn to juggle the dinner take-out bags with a wet umbrella under his feet. It could take months to devise the proper training protocols; meantime the 5^th grader will need to stay comfortably in the back seat with his sister and all that extra floor space.

The thing is that moving to the front seat is more than just moving to the front seat; it’s a metaphor for larger life transitions. It represents acknowledgement that my 5^th grader is big enough to sit up front – in his life and in the car. It’s giving him permission to be within arm’s reach of the radio controls. It’s surrendering my personal-space passenger seat to this sweet man-boy (and resisting the urge to throw my arm in front of him when I slam on the brakes). He’s going to middle school next year. Middle school! I feel like it was just yesterday I buckled him into a five-point harness and glanced the crazy infant mirror more often than I checked the rear-view. Now I have to consider him sitting next to me in the front seat, navigating his life’s roadmap while riding side-by-side.

The boy who wants front seat privileges but refuses the paparazzi.

Please comment and share your own Tales From the 5^th Grade! And I’d appreciate any tips on managing the backseat purse situation…

Visit the other “Tales from the 5th Grade” Posts:

Mommiefficiency: The Series

Well, folks, we’re well into 2019 so time for all of us to abandon our New Year’s Resolutions. We’re fed up with flavorless diets and crowded gyms and ready to resume our normal mid-year routines. Or maybe we’re adjusting our lives to fit the goals we’ve set and cruising along just fine. Maybe you’re down a jean size and feeling amazing, not missing sugar and cheese and the convenience of drive thrus and greasy burgers. For me, in the midst of all of the new year self-improvement, I do my best to set reasonable daily goals for myself and choose my calories as wisely as possible. I try to be honest about what works for me and my family. Because truth be told, things would look much different if I didn’t have to prepare meals for two conveniently picky kids or live by a brutal schedule that defies my nocturnal archetype. I’ve learned in my time as a parent that my goals and resolutions often have to yield to those more pressing activity schedules and homework demands. Finding the balance between paralyzing mommy guilt and necessary ‘me time’ has become a bit of an obsession for me and my Pinterest-perfect parental generation. I don’t have a magical potion that allows me to split my chromosomes, but I do have a few #momhacks to help me stay (or at the very least feel) productive.

This series is dedicated to maximizing efficiency for busy mommies by minimizing some of the minutia of mundane tasks. Whether you are a working mom or a sort-of working mom or a full-time momming mom, we can all agree that sometimes the duties of maintaining a household and keeping our kids happy and healthy can be exhausting. Homework, afterschool activities, and managing chores can easily become motherhood’s maddening monotony. And when you’re trying to carve out time for yourself to exercise or meditate or just visit the loo in peace, the idea of shaving five or fifteen minutes out of your day can be glorious, nay invigorating.

Listen, I’m really no expert here. I’m just doing my best to get the most out of those fleeting waking hours. I mean, I guess from a theoretical/normative sense, I know quite a bit about efficiency (that’s what a Ph.D. will get you I suppose…), but it’s relatively useless in my #momlife. I don’t sleep nearly enough (more on that later), I’ve been known to brush my teeth in the shower (I stopped out of fear of electrocution when I started using a Sonicare…), I eat breakfast on my way to work, and I allocate my evening free time into two-minute-two-second commercial break increments even though most of my television is pre-recorded.

So let’s start with a few hacks I’ve found to make the most of the millions of errands all moms are required to run. The hope here is that your task list starts to feel more like a scenic jog than an all-out frantic sprint.

Mommiefficient Errands

Minimize & Streamline

I realize for most moms a trip to Target is considered a staycation. There are few things as satisfying as browsing the Dollar Spot in the quiet company of a warm latte. We rarely get a full Saturday to browse at the mall anymore so we learn to master the “buy everything online we love; try it on; decide we hate it; and then have to go to the store to return it anyway” shopping habit. Generally speaking though, errands are a royal time-consuming pain. I went through a phase not too long ago when I would shop at three different grocery stores because everything we needed wasn’t available at just one place (The Central Market pickle and olive bar is in a class by itself, amIright?). Now I challenge myself to go long stretches without stepping foot in a grocery store – my current record streak is 17 days.

So how do I do it? That’s right – I take FULL advantage of grocery pick up, Amazon Prime Now, and the occasional retail grocery delivery. Walmart Pickup is my current go-to mainly because you can get craft supplies, birthday gifts, and your weekly food haul in one fell swoop (more on this later..). It’s especially efficient and downright amazing for families who have to lug diapers, cat litter, or other ridiculously bulky items from shelf to shopping cart to car. The time it takes to set up an account and place your grocery order (even the first time when you have to find all of your favorite items) is minimal compared to the added annoyance of actually grocery shopping, and your kids can scream in the comfort of their own home while you’re shopping instead of distracting you by trying to sneak snacks into the cart. Plus, online grocery shopping has helped me with list management, menu planning and, ultimately, with our food budget.

Bring Errands to You

In our Amazon-obsessed world (guilty!), we certainly appreciate the convenience of two-day shipping and round-the-clock deliveries. One of the best things about urban living these days is that we can have most everything delivered most anytime. I suggest taking the at-home service one step further and bring errands to you. More often than not, we can check off those mundane tasks without even leaving the house. For example, our dry cleaning gets picked up and delivered, and it’s the same cost as most drop off launderers. I use Avon Cleaners. No more fear of wrinkle-prone work shirts being piled into the back of my car + one less to-do on my weekly list = win/win!

I recently brought one of my least favorite, and frankly, often ignored errands to my driveway – the dreaded carwash. I used to get around to having my car washed about four times a year. I’m talking about the exterior AND interior snack and sticky eradicating carwash we all know we need but can never make time for. It didn’t float to the top of my list unless we could make a full meal out of the crumbs in the carpet so every time I sat in the sun baking and waiting for the swirling towel of clean, I would calendar my next carwash. Then I would promptly ignore the carwash reminder because, well, who has time for a carwash on the regular?

Now my secret to the monthly, scheduled, only slightly-filthy-car carwash is a monthly onsite service. I’m not going so far as to say it was life changing, but it sure does feel nice to do my chores whist my car is getting cleaned just outside. If you’re in Dallas and interested in trying out this not-quite-euphoria-inducing-but-pretty-darn-close service, check out The Waterboys. I’ve used their monthly service for more than a year, and I highly recommend them. The Waterboys will come to your home or office, and their gift certificates are a unique treat for your favorite boss or teacher. (BONUS: The Waterboys will give Bon Mot readers a 25% discount on any mobile cleaning service. Just visit their website and enter BonMot at checkout.)

Find an Order

For those errands we have no choice but to run, it’s often helpful to plan ahead to maximize efficiency. I know it sounds easy enough, but if you’re like me, when you realize you have an unexpected 30-minute window before carpool, you decide to spend it shopping for holiday décor at Target instead of popping by the post office or returning those boots that have been bouncing around in your trunk for a month. I once read that you should run your errands in a clockwise direction from your house. In other words, focus on right turns. My errand order sometimes depends on the goals I’ve set for myself for the day. If I’m searching for an outfit for an event, I often start at the place where I’m most likely to find what I’m looking for (Nordstrom, always Nordstrom). More often than not my order is determined by urgency and importance, regardless of right turns. In other words, I triage my errands. If my gas light is on, and I have a package to mail (that doesn’t fit into a prepaid Priority USPS box because I send those from my front porch), and I have a library book to return, the gas light wins every time. Because my impeccable history of fine avoidance and thoughtful care package won’t matter if my car runs out of gas.

I sincerely hope one or a few of these tips helps to fuel your errand-running practice. Look for more posts in this series over the coming weeks. If you have ideas about Mommieffiency or some tried and true shortcuts, please share them below.

“Any kid will run an errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.” — Red Skelton