college Archives - Being Bon Mot

A Room with a View

The transition to online learning has changed the way I see my students in so many ways. An ode to embracing the chaos…

We made it through our first few weeks at COVID-U! The fast and furious transition to distance learning is starting to manifest itself in new and interesting ways. Professors are settling into the new cadence of muted screens and electronically raised hands while students are getting more and more comfortable in the pants-optional environment. Struggling to find normalcy in the digital classroom, we cling to the familiarity of the material as we work to preserve the dynamics of the classroom. But it all feels different.

I’ve always been baffled by the idea of FaceTime. I grew up in a world where telephones tethered us to home, where we spun ourselves into spiraly phone cords over hours-long conversations. Where three-way and call waiting were the height of sophistication. “No – you hang up!” I didn’t get a cell phone until the year I graduated from college. I know, I’m old.

Now I buzz around in a world where students FaceTime with their parents while walking to class. No one is as worried about being camera ready as I feel like they should be. Several times a day, as the door to my classrooms open, I hear them say, “Mom! Mom! I gotta go. I just walked into class.” The concept of simple audio conversations seems lost. They opt to see everyone they speak with, including their parents. And I’ve never understood it. As much as I love my children, I have no desire to look up their noses as they commute to class.

Alas, in this new and evolving socially-distanced world, my professional life has morphed into a constant video stream. We Zoom lectures. We Zoom meetings. We even Zoom happy hour. I’m here for it. I’ve been delighted to see everyone’s sweet faces, even if it is online. I don’t mind the brow shots with spinning ceiling fan overhead. I’ve embraced the perfectly curated backgrounds (the Tiger King ones are my absolute fave!). Heck, I don’t even mind the occasional up-the-nose view.

I now get to see my students through a lens I never have before.

We no longer meet in sterile classrooms and cluttered offices. We meet at home. Students don’t sit behind desks. They lay in their beds or out by their pool or sit at their kitchen table. At home.

I don’t stand at the front of class in my sensible shoes lecturing, dry erase marker in hand, doing my best to keep students engaged. I sit in the quietest corner of the house, trying to juggle the imminent needs of my children with my commitment to teaching. I’m connecting with the faces and voices that are so familiar, broadcast from a wholly unfamiliar environment.

This is a room with a different view – a view from home.

I’ve met more moms in the past two weeks than I have in my entire professorial career. They pop into the screen, and we take a minute to chat and catch up. Because why not? This whole thing is weird. Their grown kid is finishing college at home, back in their spaces months before expected (if at all). And as a mom myself, I know they’re low-key checking out the whole Zoom university thing because, let’s be honest, it’s fascinating.

I’ve also started ending classes with open discussion and ‘Pet Show & Tell.’ My kids love showing off our cat, Noodle, and I am delighted to see the dogs and cats and horses that are keeping my students company at home. Ask me how many students’ pets I’ve met in my life. One. Only one puppy who was brought to a summer class in a lapse of judgement and caused such a commotion that I had to ask that it not happen again.

In this new digital learning environment, I welcome puppies and moms and little sisters and whomever else is in the room. You can eat, drink, exercise, watch television, text your friends, shop for shoes – anything goes now at COVID-U. And showers are always optional. I’m embracing the loss of control of my classes and choosing to embrace the chaos. Because it’s all chaos right now.

The pedagogical paradigm has shifted in light of this world-wide pandemic. Learning objectives now center on the preservation of both physical and mental health. Course curriculum has taken a backseat to empathy and compassion. The classroom looks different, but it’s the meeting of the minds that matters most. And I am excited to meet my students where they are.

I would love to hear about your adventures in online learning. Please share them because we’re all in this together.

Shoutout to my Nonprofit Management students for agreeing to be photographed for the feature image! 📷 You are the best models a professor could ask for.

In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.
Carl Jung

Smart Steps to Start the Semester

A smart start to the semester is one of the best ways to ensure success in college. These seven tips from Professor BonMot help build a strong foundation for learning even before the first day of class.

I’m not sure if you’ve looked at the calendar lately, but we’re creeping towards that dreaded first day of class. Are you ready? Are you sure? In college it’s pretty unlikely you’re going to hold up a chalkboard sign on your front porch that says “First Day of Sophomore Year! When I grow up, I want to be a dancer and a paleontologist.” (But if you do, please post a picture and tag me in it @beingbonmot!)

Your back to school shopping for college looks very different these days than it did in primary school. I have students who obviously spend a lot of time thinking through their first day outfit. Some obviously spend none at all. Nonetheless, Back to School season looks much different once you’re up and out of the house.

I see this thing happen at the beginning of every semester, especially in the fall. Students take one of two paths. They either hit the ground running, more prepared than I am for the first day of class. Or they resign themselves to a slow start, not really worrying about reading or checking in on course material until the first exam or quiz looms. I’d argue that most all college students intend to take the first path, but you know what they say about good intentions…

So I’ve put together these seven suggestions to help you choose the best path heading into a new semester in college. Because in the words of my muse, Benjamin Franklin, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”

** This post contains affiliate links. I may earn a small commission from any purchases you make at no additional cost to you. I love school supplies, and I wouldn’t recommend any products I haven’t used.

Sylla-Business

Find your course syllabi before the first day of class. They are usually available online. Read them, calendar any important dates, and pay special attention to policies and procedures. If you have questions, ask them during the first class meeting. They don’t call it “syllabus week” for nothing!

Organization Orientation

Get organized for the semester before it starts. Open note folders on your computer and think through your approach to class notes, handouts, and other course materials. If you’re a luddite like me, label your notebooks and sharpen your pencils. Shop for supplies including highlighters, sticky notes, and pens in lots of fun colors (Paper Mate Flair are my absolute favorite).

Double-check that syllabus for blue book and scantron requirements, and buy them early. Nothing incites panic like a shortage of blue books during midterms. If you’re looking for a gold star from your professor, keep a dry erase marker and small stapler in your backpack for when theirs runs out of ink or staples. And trust me when I tell you that you always want to have an extra pen or two on hand for when your class crush asks you to borrow (just sayin’).

Serious about Scheduling

Set your schedule – I often talk about treating college like a job so preparing your schedule is very important (see “How to Succeed in College in 5 Easy Steps“). Start by putting all of your class meetings and labs on your calendar. Make sure all of your exam, quiz, and other due dates are there too (or use this cool planner I swear by). Think through your lunch, snack, and coffee breaks before the term starts. Put study and reading time on your calendar where you have obvious openings. If you schedule this time like an important meeting that appears on your calendar (or Apple Watch), you will be more likely to honor the commitment.

If you like to work out, this is an excellent opportunity to find time in your schedule to do it. Most universities have a fitness center with great group exercise classes. Try to fit one of those into your schedule, especially early in the semester. It’s also a great way to meet new people!

Reading Readiness

First, buy/rent your text books. Next, start reading. No seriously, start reading. At the very least, open your textbooks and get a feel for what you’re dealing with. If your syllabus has outside reading assignments early in the semester, go find them, download/print them (save them to that folder you’ve already opened in Word), and have them ready. But my best advice – start reading.

Find Your Way

Take a tour, especially if you’re new to campus. Stroll around and find your classrooms. If you’re feeling ambitious, locate the restrooms and maybe pick a seat. Do you have enough time to get across campus to your next class? I still do this if I’ve been assigned to a new classroom. Back-to-back classes can be tricky, especially if you like to loiter and talk to friends after class (or if your students like to hang out and talk to you…).

Sharing is Caring

Share your schedule with your loved ones. Be sure your parents have a good idea about when you’ll be in class, especially if you talk to them often. Knowing you have a 9:00 a.m. class will save your mom’s feelings when you don’t answer her call. It’s also a good idea to let everyone know when you’ll be home for holidays and other breaks.

(Sidenote to any parents reading this: It is REALLY poor form to make travel reservations or other plans for your college-aged kid without consulting their class and exam schedule first. It’s even poorer form to send said kid to ask for an exam makeup or other accommodation because of your willy-nilly reservations. I mean…)

Healthy Habits

Rest up, hydrate, and get ready to learn. You’ll have the most energy and enthusiasm for learning at the beginning of the semester so capitalize on it. Be conscious of the need for balance from the first day. Choose your late nights wisely. Also recognize and capitalize on opportunities to meet new people and experience new things. This is college for crying out loud. Enjoy it! And hydrate. Hydration, real hydration (not Thirsty Thursday hydration) is key.

One final note: Call your mom.

You’re off to great places. Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting so get on your way.
Dr. Seuss

Sorority at Forty(ish)

Look out, ladies and gentlemen, I’m officially a sorority girl, nay woman! Some twenty years after graduating from college, I have gone Greek. It’s not like I set out to pledge a sorority in my forties. I’ve been a proud, self-professed GDI throughout adulthood (I don’t want to offend so look it up…). Please don’t get me wrong here — it’s not as though I’ve stood in conscious opposition to fraternities and sororities. I honestly never considered making it part of my undergraduate experience because a) I was never really exposed to Greek life prior to going to college; and b) Like most of my classmates at Texas A&M (whoop!), it wasn’t a priority for those in my social circle. As a matter of fact, despite its growth in perceived popularity, Aggie Greek life has declined about 2% in the 20 years since I graduated (from roughly 14% of undergraduates in 1999 to 12% in 2018).

The predominance of my Greek fluency has come from teaching at SMU where nearly 42% of students are initiated. I have always been curious about the costs (even the non-pecuniary ones) and benefits of membership, and I love to use sororities and fraternities as anecdotes in my nonprofit classes, i.e. “Why can’t your sweet parents deduct those membership fees?” or “What types of social capital might one derive from participating?”. Ironically, I have only ever attended one fraternity party in my life, and it was at the now defunct Pike House at SMU (Pi Kappa Alpha if you are fancy; oh, and it was a much tamer group in the 90s…). Needless to say, I have a lot to learn.

Truth be told, I’m a much better sorority girl in my 40s that I ever would have been in my early 20s. I’m far better at understanding the sincerity and importance of the sisterhood. While I’ll never know the rush of rush or the giddy excitement of the secret-location sorority formal (I’m fascinated by the idea that ladies and their dates board a bus to an undisclosed destination for such a shindig!), I’ll forever cherish the rituals of initiation. It’s just as well because I’ve always hated surprises, and my pledge class of three amazing grown-A women suits me just fine. Pledging as an old lady, ahem Honor Initiate, means I don’t have to be concerned with the reputation or preconceived ideas about specific sororities or their members. I didn’t choose Tri Delta. Tri Delta chose me.

The story of how this all transpired is less glamorous than it may seem. I met Karen Hughes White, Tri Delta’s effervescent and indelibly impressive CEO while teaching a course as part of a Nonprofit Leadership Certificate program. Essentially Karen was my student. We became fast friends with a mutual interest in nonprofit organizational effectiveness and sound management (I always say I’m a hoot at cocktail parties…). One day over scrumptious popovers at Kenny’s, Karen presented the idea of honor initiation and invited me to join the Tri Delta sisterhood. I accepted immediately because a) These are the types of opportunities you should never turn down, and b) I loved the idea of aligning myself with an organization whose central values included “to be kind alike to all and value inner self and character above personal appearance.” Moreover, some of my absolute favorite women like my bestie, Tamra, and ‘fake’ nieces Landry and Chaney, would become my sisters and stand in support of my initiation.

With my Tri Delta sponsors and all-around amazing women (from left to right: Chaney, Landry, me, and Tamra), Gamma Alpha Chapter – Gig Em!

The whole thing is pretty hilarious and indicative of the crazy opportunities I tend to stumble upon. And I’m so honored. I’m learning about the nuances of these relatively illusive organizations (kind of makes me long for Franklin’s Junto, but that’s another post for another time…). I’ve unwittingly created a legacy for my daughter. And here’s the thing about sororities I’m just now starting to fully understand — they make a really positive impact on affiliated women, especially members of Panhellenic organizations. Women in their 20s probably don’t fully appreciate the currency it provides. The benefit of pledging a sorority at 40(ish) is that I know the value of strong female relationships. and I’m excited to see where this Tri Delta experience takes me. In the meantime, I’ll be practicing the secret handshake.

Thoughts? Feedback? I’d love to hear from you, Bon Mot Readers!