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RHOD Mid-Season Top 10

Sweet Bun-Bun has gone to his Bunny Mansion in the sky, but thankfully my RHOD Recaps haven’t!

I’m back with a mid-season recap of the first 10 RHOD episodes. I mean…. It’s been a minute so thanks so much for coming back for more. Since it seems silly to go back three episodes to catch up, I thought a Top 10 would be the perfect way to bring everyone up to speed. So here it goes!

#10 – Kameron used to camp!

That’s right, everyone, before she became a self-proclaimed “Couture Barbie,” Kameron used to enjoy time in the outdoors. And how grateful are we that Bravo dug up the photographic evidence?

Kameron Westcott Real Housewives of Dallas Camping

#9 – Brandi’s bunny died.

Playboy Bun-Bun Redmond’s funeral (episode 8) was quite the spectacle, especially the children as pal bearers and creepy reincarnated human-bunny that mysteriously appeared after the burial. Even more creepy was the fact that Brandi kept her dead bunny in the freezer for six months while she figured out what to do with its body. And she looks to have frequently retrieved said frozen dead bunny from its icy tomb to snuggle (or at the very least pet). Given the choice between stuffing Bun-Bun for taxidermy or the requiem for her furry friend, I’m pretty surprised Brandi ultimately went with the burial service.

#8 – We miss Cary (with a “C”).

I mean no disrespect to Kary with a “K,” but Mrs. Deuber remains my favorite despite not starring this season. She’s teased us with her lingerie party and affirmed that she’s a true friend by crashing Kary’s not-so-inclusive ladies’ night with LeeAnne and Kam. I hope she’ll keep coming around even after all of the wedding festivities are over.

#7 – Brandi and Stephanie are still Ride or Die, and they have the podcast to prove it.

While Stephanie and Kameron seem to be feuding an awful lot this season, Brandi and Stephanie’s friendship is going pretty well. Somewhere along the way, they even started their own podcast, Weekly Dose of B.S.

It will be interesting to see how things play out with Brandi’s adopting Bruin’s biological sibling (his birth mom is pregnant again and the Redmonds have been approached about placement with them, in case you missed a step), especially given Stephanie’s ultimately being responsible for bringing sweet Bruin into their lives in the first place. Momming is really hard, and I’m encouraged to see that there’s no B.S. in the support these two have for each other.

#6 – Eduardo needs the “Travis Treatment.”

Remember how we all used to hate Travis because he treated Stephanie like a paid employee? All of those annoying lists and spousal micromanagement made us feel like he was borderline misogynistic. He seems completely transformed over these last couple of seasons. Now it seems Kary’s husband, Eduardo, needs to take a few lessons from Travis about how to be a supportive, non-patronizing husband.

Those telling moments during Eduardo and Kary’s datenight (episode 10) at Talum provide us with a glimpse into the control issues we’ve heard about all season. Eduardo’s smug lecture about how “we” talk at dinner was especially cringeworthy, and I can only hope he learns as much from watching himself on the show as Mr. Hollman apparently did.

#5 – Daughter Wars: The Saga Continues between Brandi and Brooklyn.

As I’ve said in previous posts, this story line highlighting the struggle between otherwise-bubbly Brandi and her oldest daughter, Brooklyn, is one of the most real things about the Real Housewives. I think every mom watching can sympathize with the dynamics here. It’s easy to get frustrated with Brandi’s essentially laissez faire approach to discipline, but there’s also real truth in the complexity of mom-guilt.

#4 – Travis and Stephanie are holding strong as our cutest couple.

It’s not to say that D’Andra and Jeremy aren’t as cute as pie with their cooking contests, but Travis and Stephanie’s relationship seems to be strengthening every time we see them. Travis’s 50th birthday party is teed up to air, and I can’t wait to see him in full midlife-with-a-hot-wife crisis!

Also, we know Casa Hollman is amazing, but how do we feel about the Jacuzzi in the master bathroom? Stephanie wasn’t thrilled with the pool in the living room when Travis originally purchased the home (Recall that he bought the house without consulting Stephanie. Consult #6 above.), and she makes a sideways comment about filling in the hot tub during her confessional. While I’m pretty concerned about humidity-levels in their bathroom, I absolutely love dynamic between Stephanie and Travis this season.

#3 – LeeAnne really does have mama drama.

Listen y’all, we saw this coming. LeeAnne has made no secret of her tumultuous childhood, in part because of her mother abandoning her at the carnival gates. We’ve met LeeAnne’s mother, Margaret, before when the two attempted to (unsuccessfully) work out their differences during a counseling session. Rich, in a pretty endearing moment over dinner, encourages has betrothed to cut her mother some slack because she won’t be around forever. Clearly LeeAnne still struggles with issues from her childhood.

It’s obvious LeeAnne is afraid of her mama drama taking center ring at the wedding. She makes no secret of the fact that her mom almost didn’t get an invitation to the wedding (neither paper nor text invite!). And we can feel the air chilling as LeeAnne’s mom is so late to the wedding that she almost misses it. Pardon the cliche, but this picture is worth 1,000 words:

#2 – Turns out Mama Dee is a villain.

Speaking of mama drama, turns out Mama Dee REALLY doesn’t give a rip! We learn over a series of really uncomfortable conversations that she intentionally left D’Andra a company in financial ruin, and she’s completely unapologetic about it. The dynamic between Dee and D’Andra is simultaneously fascinating and frustrating with the struggles over money and power central to their story this season.

I don’t know whether D’Andra is making a real effort to preserve her mom’s legacy along with the company or how much she really cares to, but the thread of financial strongholds in Dallas is front and center. And Mama Dee appears to be vying for the role as spokesperson for the Society for People Who Control Other People with Money. D’Andra’s wounds are deep, and Dee appears to still see her middle-aged daughter as a petulant adolescent.

Sidenote: Is the richness of the irony in character development of the D’Andra vs. Dee saga and Brandi vs. Brooklyn conflict apparent to anyone else? Okay; just wondering.

#1 – LeeAnne is married!

So D’Andra and Brandi didn’t go, and there wasn’t any food for the guests at the reception, but LeeAnne and Rich finally got hitched! Despite all the questions I have about the five-hour time lapse after the ceremony, the weird mirrored people milling around at the party, and why there really wasn’t a meal served at the evening reception, my absolute favorite part of the entire wedding episode was the trip to the Sonic drive-thru for chili dogs.

Congratulations and best wishes to the happy couple! Now back to the drama…

Did your mid-season highlights make this RHOD Top 10? Let me know via social media or comment below. I can’t wait to see the drama that unfolds in Thailand and beyond!

RHOD Recap Episodes 4 & 5

You said it, Kary! The button-pushing continues on the girls’ trip to Mexico. Here’s everything you need to know to catch up.

It’s two-for-one week everyone! So sorry to be MIA – I had to do professor work and mom for a minute. We’ve missed the drama, and I’m so grateful that you are back for the recap. Our favorite Housewives are still in Careyes, and from where I’m standing, this trip is all about tequila, tortilla chips, and very weird self-care. So here’s the skinny…

The Polo Match

Kari schedules a private polo match (who knew this was even possible?!?) to make Stephanie’s Pretty Woman dreams come true, and hijinks ensue. First, in the absence of close bathrooms, the ladies decided to duck behind a trailer for their potty break.

After that, everyone works out their grown-up cartwheel skills and pays very little attention to the actual polo match.

We learn that Kameron’s dad was a professional polo player in California. We also find out that Brandi and Brian used to own a polo center in north Dallas (you know there’s a story here…). And we meet my spirit animal, Suzanne, the lady who manages the polo operation.

The Dinner

Dinner out at the restaurant with the lowest roof in Mexico provides us with a telling glimpse of the ladies’ dynamic this season. Brandi and Kary dance barefoot on the table which grosses Kameron (and me) out, especially since the table dance was pre-dinner. That’s only the beginning of the crazy.

Remember how I said this girls’ trip was about tequila and tortilla chips? Well, here’s the very reason why. Shenanigans ensue and Drunk D’Andra insists that Kary and LeeAnne re-hash the room sharing issue. It’s all a misunderstanding. Things are quickly rehashed and resolved.

But let’s be real. Drunk D’Andra steals this episode. Drunk D’Andra and her Spanx.

The Conflicts

The funny thing about combining two episode recaps is that most of our story arcs resolve them from one week to the next.

Last week Kameron called Brandi trash, felt pretty bad about it, and apologized this week. In the midst of the finger-pointing and napkin-throwing, we wonder if there will be a speedy relationship recovery. Alas, a contrite Kameron reaches an understanding with Brandi, especially after LeeAnne offers some perspective about how words can be triggers.

The reconciliation causes some collateral damage with LeeAnne because she is deliberately cut out of the make up conversation. I see other conflicts brewing here — LeeAnne and Brandi; LeeAnne and Stephanie because Brandi might stir up some stuff over all of the suicide talk; more LeeAnne and D’Andra — let’s see where it goes.

Careyes Self Care

Second only to D’Andra’s Spanx are the unconventional adventures in self-care our Dallas Housewives embark upon in these two episodes. First, there’s the huge meditation bowl where everyone magically looks great laying down. The ladies spend some time reflecting and atoning in the Copa, and everyone except Kameron seems moved by the experience.

Real Housewives of Dallas Mexico meditation bowl

The day (or week in TV time) after their enlightening sound bowl experience, the ladies are covered in mud and lured back into the womb. The pregnant healer steals the show with the greatest irony in RHOD history.

Real Housewives of Dallas Mexico Recap Careyes

The ladies sweat and reflect on their self-improvement. Most interesting here are the intentions they all set for themselves before being “reborn” out of the human-cooking clay oven. D’Andra’s are clearly aimed at LeeAnne who is obviously absent from the womb saying she didn’t feel included in the experience.

Regardless these Careyes self-care scenes are fantastic! If only they had tried walking across that bridge…

The Housewives return to Dallas next week detoxified and refreshed and ready for state-side drama. There is lots more to come this season. In the meantime rest up and hydrate, it’s going to be a great week!

Real Housewives of Dallas D'Andra Simmons Blog

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RHOD Recap – Episode 2

Stimulating workouts, contrasting date nights, and infuriating shopping sprees play second fiddle to D’Andra’s 50th Birthday Roast in this episode of the Real Housewives of Dallas.

There’s a lot going on this week, y’all! The ladies are out and about trying a “vagine” stimulating workout at Ninety20, chatting over some delicious chips and queso at Kung Fu Saloon, and suffering through a $729 grab at a daughter’s affection. We are ushered along on a tour of some of Dallas’s hotspots (Cru, Sixty Vines, One Sette, oh my!), but end up at the center point of Episode 2 — D’Andra’s 50^th birthday ‘roast’ party.

Date Night

First, how cute is this glimpse into Rich and LeeAnne’s date night at Matchbox over margaritas and spinach dip? I love their interactions, and the fact that Rich has finished writing his vows well before LeeAnne even starts them is pretty endearing. I find so much truth in LeeAnne’s confessing she never really saw herself married, acknowledging that she always thought she’d have to take care of herself. Their date night conversation says a lot about the issues LeeAnne is still having with D’Andra, as she admits to being unfaithful to others their first date. Also, just spit balling here, but doesn’t Rich’s eye patch need its own Instagram?!

Real Housewives of Dallas LeeAnne Locken

How about Kary’s date night with Eduardo? Juxtaposed with LeeAnne and Rich’s time together, there’s palpable tension between these two. Maybe they’re just hungry. Kary calls out Eduardo’s jealousy and acknowledges some hard years during their second marriage. Regardless, they’re coming up on their 10^thanniversary, and I’m hearing some warning bells. Given that she’s new here, I’m anxious to see where the Latin lovebirds end up. Note to servers in Dallas though: do NOT attempt to take Kary’s dinner order before her appetizers come!

Beavis & Bestie

We’re still loving Brandi and Stephanie’s truly sophomoric friendship. Maybe it’s my weaknesses for 90s references, but the Beavis & Butthead moments are some of the best of the night. Brandi has memorized her roast but keeps notes on her hands. Stephanie is clearly nervous about the possibility of bombing at the party, but it’s so fun to see them fully embrace each other’s crazy. By the way, did anyone else catch that Brandi practiced her speech in the shower… for TWO HOURS?!?

Brandi Redmond Stephanie Hollman Real Housewives — Palm vs. Paper – The Battle of the Roast Notes

LeeAnne and D’Andra, on the other hand, are all business and a little bit of shade at their wine lunch. Ahem, Ms. Locken: “My mother doesn’t have any financial hold over me so I don’t really have a need to talk to her.” LeeAnne is clearly still pained by what went down and is seeking some pretty specific penance. It’s not enough for D’Andra to say she’s sorry (apparently for the third time), LeeAnne needs her to acknowledge that she was wrong to make accusations about Rich’s infidelity. D’Andra only sort of repents, but patches things over by inviting LeeAnne to her birthday party.

The Meat & Potatoes aka D’Andra’s Birthday Roast

For starters, how much do we love that no one is buying that this is an actual roast? Setting aside the idea that it’s not really customary to ASK to be roasted, D’Andra decides she wants to spend her 50th birthday with people having fun and “saying all the things they’ve wanted to say in public.” Um…. okay. We’ll see how this goes.

D’Andra’s assistant of three weeks acts as the emcee for the fete, and there’s not too much roastin’ going on at this roast. LeeAnne’s dissection of the event during her confessional is SPOT on; the hairs on her head speak the truth! Also true to form, Stephanie and Brandi come to play mocking everyone from Mama Dee to House-Husband Jeremy. Everybody else seems to play softball with the microphone.

(Said in your best Mama D Voice) “We’re changing the name of Hard Night, Good Morning…”

And then there’s the gift of… DONUTS! Jeremy gives D’Andra 50 donuts at the party to celebrate her love of food and the five years they’ve spent together. The other girls are appalled, rightfully so, but this gives a whole new spin on the birthday girl’s role as a sugar mama. There is no shame in her donut game, and they serve as the perfect dessert for this lukewarm roast.

What do you think of donuts as a birthday gift? What would you like 50 of to celebrate your 50th?

Next week we take a commercial flight to this casa enorme…

Catch up on more #RHOD recaps: Episode 1 – “Tales of the Glitter-Farting Wedding Planner & ‘Friendtervention'”.

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RHOD Recap – Episode 1

RHOD is off and running, and this looks like the beginning of a beautifully dramatic season!

My ladies from Real Housewives of Dallas are back, and they came to play! Episode 1 of season 4 feels like a gentle slope up to a pretty freaking dramatic season. We spend most of the hour getting reacquainted with some old friends and meeting the newest RHOD cast member, Kary. All in all, nothing big happened in Big D this week, but we can see the drama fog rolling in…

Meet Kary

Let’s start with the newest Housewife, Kary, a pretty transparent casting choice and friend of D’Andra’s. Kary’s role as it appears at this point is to add spice and subtitles to the franchise. She spent a lot of time outlining her feelings about sex (apparently lackluster after 10 years of marriage) and sexiness (needing to tone it down on a beach trip with her teenage daughter). From where I’m standing, it looks like she’s going to give Sexual Chocolate a run for his money.

Also Kary is still grinding axes with LeeAnne over the RoundUp comment from TWO SEASONS AGO… about the cast member she replaced!! (By the way, Cary, we miss you. And we miss Mark’s Molteni. But mostly missing Cary…) I’m looking VERY forward to Kary’s (with a “K”) interactions with Kameron and LeeAnne this season, and most especially the subtitles.

Here Comes the bride

We find LeeAnne fretting about her impending nuptials. She’s going over details with her glitter-farting wedding planner, Steve Kemble, and over-explaining her networking role (the supposed reason she’s getting deep discounts on goodies for her wedding — because I’m sure it has absolutely nothing to do with being featured on national television.) And listen, I’m not buying all this ‘stressed out bride’ business, and I hope it doesn’t become a central theme. Wedding planning is nothing for a carny kid and former pageant queen; it’s just another day at the office!

Real Housewives of Dallas Steve Glitter Farts — Glitter Farts = Genius Editing

The real LeeAnne story is her ongoing feud with D’Andra. And this is a REAL real feud. These ladies haven’t spoken in months, despite their agreeing to see a ‘relationship coach’ at the Season 3 Reunion. (Is that really a thing for friendships?!?) I kind of hate that it’s still going on. More on this in a minute…

Brandi’s Bratty Kid

Brandi is trudging along like the rest of the moms in the universe, trying to keep it together in the midst of chaos. And it appears the chaos with her sweet ginger kids is in full swing. Bruin is walking and couldn’t be cuter. But Brooklyn looks to be driving Brandi to the Jesus-juice. Now, I’m generally opposed to talking crap about other people’s kids, but Brandi uses some pretty unkind language to describe her own daughter (justified from what we see) and practices patience at a level some moms may not see fit to exercise. We’ll see where this one goes. At the very least, I hope someone holds on to this footage to show Brooklyn when she starts complaining about her own pre-pubescent daughters.

The Housewife & The Harvard Man

Stephanie and Travis seem to have gotten their act together, and they’re now officially #couplegoals. We’re a long way from annoying to-do lists and seemingly misogynistic marital behavior. Travis is facing a self-admitted midlife crisis, reinventing himself in anticipation of his 50th birthday. I dare say his self-care regime has been influenced by his time with Harvard co-eds, and I LOLed at Stephanie’s testimonial about his new rituals. I absolutely love this story line and really, really hope we get to see Travis talk D’Andra through her cash flow crisis and Mama D issues.

Real Housewives of Dallas Travis — No outward signs of midlife crisis.

The Friendtervention

The central theme of episode is the “Friendtervention” staged by Stephanie for LeeAnne and D’Andra over their years-long feud. Kameron and Kary are off on spring break, but Brandi and Stephanie are determined for their friends to mend fences. D’Andra is already fraught with stress over her failing business and mama drama, but she says she wants to try to work things out (sans relationship coach it seems). LeeAnne comes looking for an apology over accusations of Rich’s infidelity. I’m sorry, y’all, but things don’t look good for these two.

I don’t see these former friends clearing the air and laughing all of this off (Brandi’s goal, not mine) any time soon. I’m sure LeeAnne’s amygdala was on overdrive, but she does well keeping it together (eyes darting around for a bowl to bang). D’Andra’s posture was en fuego, and she’s obviously choosing her words very carefully trying not to make things worse. We end the episode with a toast to the future, but what does that mean?!? (Spoiler Alert!) We already know D’Andra didn’t attend LeeAnne’s wedding so where, oh where, do we go from here?

Real Housewives of Dallas D'Andra Posture — #posturegoals

What do YOU think of the new season?

Are you #TeamLeeAnne or #TeamDAndra??

Stay tuned for more drama this season! Subscribe to the BonMot blog for instant RHOD updates straight to your email – or – Follow me on social media @beingbonmot.