In honor of the Real Housewives of Dallas girls’ trip to Mexico, let’s spice it up a bit, shall we? I think a highlight reel of the Episode 3 revelations is the best way to proceed with this recap. And there’s a lot going on tonight so let’s start unpacking this (suitable for commercial flights) luggage.
Put on your fabulous metallic bathing suits and pour a margarita, everyone!
Here’s what we learn in tonight’s episode…
Jeremy does laundry. D’Andra doesn’t.
The feminist in me just loves that this hot house husband (Stephanie’s roast, not mine) is called out for doing the laundry by his wife!
LeeAnne is good at getting free stuff for her wedding.
The scene where LeeAnne visits Nardos to design her wedding dress is — in the words of my 6th grader — cringey. I’m not sure if everyone was on the same page when the budget talks started, but Steve, the dazzling wedding planner, handles it like a boss. We’re seven weeks from the wedding, and there’s one thing we know for sure about that free dress — it will have a train as long as a…
Stephanie Sees a Life Coach
She and the kindergarten version of herself work on pervasive issues of low self esteem and anxiety. I love moments of venerability from my favorite housewives — they are so important for the ‘real’ part of reality tv.
D’Andra’s Priorities (in order)
- Hair Emergencies
- Sleep
- Meeting with Travis
Careyes is a two hour drive from Puerto Vallarta.
Well, first we learn that Careyes is a beautiful coastal city in Mexico with a scary bridge across the water. But we have to get there by traveling via an annoying van trip through what can only be described as the ‘real’ non-resort-esque Mexican countryside. Better use the potty at the airport next time, ladies!
D’Andra’s a slob, and she owns it.
LeeAnne likes to sleep alone.
Listen, girl, I am with you on this one. While I appreciate Kary’s effort to use sleeping arrangements as a way to unhinge the bestie brigade, grown-A women don’t need to share a bed to feel close. Clearly the seven-bedroom compound has room enough for everyone.
Kameron’s Superlatives
- Most likely to get lost in the airport on the way to college.
- Most likely to be on the cover of Cosmo.
Looks like Kameron hasn’t changed a bit since high school. Could we love her any more?!?
D’Andra dated Eduardo’s brother!
And had she known about the Careyes vacation home, she might have made more of an effort in the relationship. (Guillermo is still single, ladies!)
Kary has her own jewelry line.
In the fight against the insulting infantile spousal allowance, Kary and Kameron bond over having their own money by way of their separate businesses. Now onto a collab – edible pink dog bracelets!
All About the Prenups
Kary has one. Stephanie has one. Jeremy has one. Kameron has one too.
Brandy doesn’t. And LeeAnne, well she’s a fourth-wife-lifer so no apparently there’s no need.
We also confirm what many of us already know — sometimes prenups include a weigh-in provision for wives. And it’s not just a Dallas thing. Rest assured, y’all, there’s no weight requirement for Mrs. Westcott, and she has a clever cupcake plan if anyone tries to change it.
The tragedy train has left the station.
We end the episode with some pretty heavy dinner conversation. While the other ladies do their best to stay out of the fray (Brandi is snoring away in her room), Kary and LeeAnne swap tragic stories of their upbringing.
Kary’s mom was an alcoholic and blew through all of her family’s money.
LeeAnne doesn’t want children because of her rough childhood. And she was molested over a shockingly long period of time. And she’s attempted suicide three times. Things get uncomfortable and tense, and we see LeeAnne’s fearlessness shine once again, albeit irascibly, in her confrontation with Kary.
I can’t wait to see what we learn next week! Until then…
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